what is a girl to do?
so back in my sophmore year i had this P.E class and i met a boy named Dylan...i had a bit of a thing for him but never persued it because i was still kind of hung up on my other guy Jake. we became friends. a few months after that he got this girlfriend amanda. they were always together, i didnt think much of it. i got over my little crush thing. well i stopped talking to him because that amanda girl was pretty intimidating.
well about a year later i heard he was in a hospital type thing because he was all broken up about her leaving him. i was more than worried of course, i wanted to bring him a card, but my friend rachel ditched me and went without me. well i saw him a few months later. he asked rachel if she would like to go out sometime and she said sure, but blew him off because she told me that he was weird and not her type (she has crazy ass standards 1.he has to be able to sing, 2. has to go to church, 3. has to drive, 4 has to have a job, 5. has to be someone she can see herself marrying, etc...). well i felt bad for him, but then about a month after that i heard he was with amanda again. i thought "good for him".
well then my friend aaren called me about half a year after that and told me that she left him again for her best friend who she was in love with. i felt bad for him once again and was hoping that he was okay. well i went to aarens house to visit him and dylan was there. i started talking to him a little bit. he looked oh so sad. i went to aarens again about a week later and me and dylan got to talking about life and what not. he asked me if i still had his #, and i said yeah and he asked for mine. long story short, i called, we talked for awhile. he started calling me everyday for a couple of months.
one thing you have to understand is that i was closed off to all guys for the moment cause i was tired of being hurt, but he told me i couldnt do that and said it was bad for me and i could miss out on so many things....he was right.
well, then he asked if i thought about a relationship, who would i consider dating, and i didnt say anything really, but finally i told him "the first name that comes to mind is you" so we kept talking and what not. well, we ended up dating and got into a relationship. it was okay, but he got sad a lot. he was still hanging onto amanda a little bit. well then things got kind of complicated when i got kicked out because i was confused and didnt know what to do; i felt bad all the time. 2 sad people dont mix.
he told me he was confused and wasnt sure he wanted a relationship (i was staying at his house by the way). i was crushed, and it just added on top of all my other stress. i ended up leaving 2 days ater that happened and coming to my grandpa's for 2 days. on the 4th day fater breaking up i called and he had gone out with his friends josh and crystal (who are together) and bethany. a chick from his work. i got all anxious and worried. i was completely jealous. he called at like 12:30 that night talked to me. i told him how i felt and he told me i shouldnt feel that way and that he didnt like her like that but it didnt make me feel better.
well he asked me to go hang out with him the next day so i did. we were sitting on the couch and he hugged me and i said "wrried about me? you shouldnt be." and then he kissed me. i was more than shocked to say the least. well we ended up back together for a few days and he called it off again. that was about a week and a half ago.
i'm still emotional as fuck about it. what drives me crazy is that he still talks to bethany. i am back at his house staying there. i can't handle seeing him all the time and kknowing he doesnt want me. i don't know what to do. i'd feel horrible if i left because he wants me there to hang out with him still and i want to be around him, but it's hurting me staying there. i'm still holding on and hoping for something, but i am sure i am setting myself up for dissapointment...any suggestions?