hmm
ive been such a homebody lately, I don't really want to leave my home and i just like to lay in bed all the time. Sometimes I'm happiest not saying one word to another person, the silence is so beautiful.
I don't feel anything, and I thought that had to do with the smoking but here I am five days sober and still not feeling a thing.
I forget when I'm sober I'm numb. Maybe thats where the sadness sits, the bottom of cheap wine.
I want my fire back, that thing that made me who I am. I haven't been sad or angry at all. Just in existence. My books have been perfect. I forget how much I love to read, then the books suck me back in. I just love my lonliness right now. Is that why I don't miss my family or friends? Because I get a sick joy out of my alone. I lay in bed and think so hard I can't watch a movie or listen to a song play. I have so much I should be doing right now, but this bed and this comfort are all I can think to enjoy. Gluttony maybe, most of all.
I don't long for the first time in such a long time, this content feeling is so unusual.
I don't feel anything, and I thought that had to do with the smoking but here I am five days sober and still not feeling a thing.
I forget when I'm sober I'm numb. Maybe thats where the sadness sits, the bottom of cheap wine.
I want my fire back, that thing that made me who I am. I haven't been sad or angry at all. Just in existence. My books have been perfect. I forget how much I love to read, then the books suck me back in. I just love my lonliness right now. Is that why I don't miss my family or friends? Because I get a sick joy out of my alone. I lay in bed and think so hard I can't watch a movie or listen to a song play. I have so much I should be doing right now, but this bed and this comfort are all I can think to enjoy. Gluttony maybe, most of all.
I don't long for the first time in such a long time, this content feeling is so unusual.