i think im going crazy.
so this past week has sucked so much ass... this weekend was pretty good until sunday when all this stupid gay shit happend. friday me and ashely went out to eat with chase, scottie, and jay and then went to see house of wax.. and then saturday me and ashley went to nava's house and got really fucking drunk and now i really really regret doing that because it just totally fucked up what was going to happen.. and now the one person that i cared about the most hates me and thats just great. also i got my car taken away for no fucking reason and my mom wont give me back my phone until i pay for it.. i i havent talked to anyone in person in like 4 days and im starting to go insane.. i have taken like 8 differnt kinds of pills to try to make me feel better and it doesnt seem to be working.. i have spent the last 2 days asleep from about 5 or 6 till about 12 in the morning and then i stay up for about 15 minutes and then go back to sleep.. i have nothing else to do. and my birthday is like in less than 2 weeks and my mom was like we arent doing anything for your birthday.. and i dont know why cuz i didnt even do anything. and me and chase were soposed to do something fun but now he isnt speaking to me and ashley is like being weird. there is just so much shit wrong.. on top of that i have to finish algebra 2 in like 8 days to graduate. im surprised i havent just died from being so stressed out. i have done anything since sunday except sit in my room and pop pills and sleep because i dont have a phone and i dont have a car so i have nothing to do. i need to stop doing so many damn drugs.. they are fucking me over like so bad. i need to stop drinking too. but i dont know how i can do that when its like the only thing that doesnt make me feel like shit. anyways today i cleaned my room and did laundry.. im being somewhat productive today.. and now im about to take a shower and get ready for gayass school.. so i can sit there for 4 hours and pretend like i know what the fuck im doing. and then right after that i have to work till 11 tonight and its gonna suck because i would rather be asleep. hopfully this weekend is better. and hopefully i can stand to be sober for it. i just realized how much more life sucks when you are sober. when your all fucked up it doesnt matter how shitty your life is cuz hey guess what your too fucked up to care.. haha anyways i gotta go im gonna take a shower..