(no subject)

[_pushxpanic_]

A thing that's been bugging me:
Nicole and I have played on the
same teams since the 5th grade.
All her life she's been playing left forward,
until last year when she made varsity.
She played in my spot on varsity.
[which is a defensive spot]
She won't tell the coach that she plays forward.
The whole thing w/ her on varsity last year,
was just an experiment b/c they needed substitutes.
But Crissy is keeping her there.
My whole life I've been playing in the same spot.
And now I have to find somewhere
else to play, or be benched.

I see reasons why Nicole is keeping the spot:
-She ran track and Crissy is the track coach, too.
-She had one year of experience w/ varsity
-She has an older sister on the team
-Whenever I play w/ the high school team,
I suck.

I want them to see how I really play,
and that I don't suck as much as they think I do.
But for some reason,
I never get the chance.
The 2 years that Crissy has coached,
she's never seen me actually try
b/c no one believes I can.
That definitely puts a damper on my attitude.
None of the girls on that team
have seen me try.
They're too busy nagging at me on their pedstal
b/c they think they're wonderful.
When honestly,
I could make them look like crap.
They might come in first in the running drills,
but I have better freaking ball control.
Oh wait, the only thing we do at practice is run,
so that's all that Crissy is impressed w/.

I told my friend Karina about it.
She's on the high school team
as well as the club team,
and has seen me play my best.
She keeps telling me that one day
everyone will see that I'm alright.
But I'm seriously starting to doubt her.
♥Allyson