Convictions and beliefs
Convictions (not the criminal kind!) are kind of like rules that are built into us by society and our upbringings. Some we have no direct evidence whether they're true or not: Say for example that the Earth is a spheroid. These we take on faith, possibly due to everyone else on the planet believing it true also. Sometimes we do get evidence to prove these things - when I went to Cuba the jet flew high enough that I could see the curvature of the horizon...
Other convictions are based on personal beliefs and are every bit if not more concrete - Again for example I believe I should have been born female. It takes a lot to shake these convictions and sway someone away from absolute certainty in them, but it is possible. The moral grey areas where this can happen are quite straightforward to find. They're where two convictions clash and contradict one another.
I've been there a few times, where experience and my own mental compass aren't sufficient to tell me what is the right course of action. Each time its involved making very hard choices involving some of the people I care about, and trying to do what I think is best at that particular moment in time. Its never easy, but in a way I'm lucky in that I can face up to my fears, and accept responsibility for my actions, be they good, bad or indifferent.
For the last week I've been facing one of these choices, knowing what each option means, and trying to decide between them. The thing is though, in a way I've created my own dilemma by forcing this issue out into the open. Another conviction you see - secrets hurt people. The other thing about convictions is that they let you make lightning fast snap-decisions in the knowledge that you will not be betraying any of your own core beliefs by doing what it is you decide. This time though I think I've found a way that is for me at least, means not doing some things I was reluctant to do, and lets me relax more or less instantaneously from the hyper-tense tense state I've been in all week.
So far, so good. I'll be able to live with myself.
Now, back to stroking the cat :)
Other convictions are based on personal beliefs and are every bit if not more concrete - Again for example I believe I should have been born female. It takes a lot to shake these convictions and sway someone away from absolute certainty in them, but it is possible. The moral grey areas where this can happen are quite straightforward to find. They're where two convictions clash and contradict one another.
I've been there a few times, where experience and my own mental compass aren't sufficient to tell me what is the right course of action. Each time its involved making very hard choices involving some of the people I care about, and trying to do what I think is best at that particular moment in time. Its never easy, but in a way I'm lucky in that I can face up to my fears, and accept responsibility for my actions, be they good, bad or indifferent.
For the last week I've been facing one of these choices, knowing what each option means, and trying to decide between them. The thing is though, in a way I've created my own dilemma by forcing this issue out into the open. Another conviction you see - secrets hurt people. The other thing about convictions is that they let you make lightning fast snap-decisions in the knowledge that you will not be betraying any of your own core beliefs by doing what it is you decide. This time though I think I've found a way that is for me at least, means not doing some things I was reluctant to do, and lets me relax more or less instantaneously from the hyper-tense tense state I've been in all week.
So far, so good. I'll be able to live with myself.
Now, back to stroking the cat :)