you'll forget me soon i fear...
well, i still can't think of what to say. how many times have i started off an entry with that saying? i end up writing a paragraph or two after it anyway. there really isn't much going on is all. school is winding down. my last classes will happen over the next three days, i'll "enjoy" studying over thanksgiving break, and then 4 finals in the first week of december. i'm not worried about them, in fact my lack of concern is a concern. am i overly-confident? is that a bad thing? i applied to NAU last week for fall 2009. updates towards this matter will be addressed in later discussions when further information is available.
i've been really weak lately. i think i've sent an e-mail, message, or text to erik everyday for the last week. of course, i never receive anything back. i'm starting to hate it more than appreciate it. what made him so strong in the past month? i don't know where my strength has gone. thinking about never seeing him again...terrifies me. i've said before that i only say things to him when i'm pretty severely depressed. it happens that a good amount of self-loathing has been going on in the past week. i feel ugly in every aspect. my personality, my face, my hair, my body, my voice, my lips, my neck, what i eat, what i don't eat, relationship status, everything. i hate everything about myself and i don't feel like anything can fix it. it's an immature thought, absolute helplessness, but i can't help it.
i feel like i'm waiting for something amazing.
it's taking too long to happen.
this town is so exciting that there was just too much to think of to do...so we made banana bread.
bryan and jessica
david at applebees thursday, taylor next to him.
every sticky-note under there said the same thing...hahahaha.
messy boy.
ugly i say.
i've been really weak lately. i think i've sent an e-mail, message, or text to erik everyday for the last week. of course, i never receive anything back. i'm starting to hate it more than appreciate it. what made him so strong in the past month? i don't know where my strength has gone. thinking about never seeing him again...terrifies me. i've said before that i only say things to him when i'm pretty severely depressed. it happens that a good amount of self-loathing has been going on in the past week. i feel ugly in every aspect. my personality, my face, my hair, my body, my voice, my lips, my neck, what i eat, what i don't eat, relationship status, everything. i hate everything about myself and i don't feel like anything can fix it. it's an immature thought, absolute helplessness, but i can't help it.
i feel like i'm waiting for something amazing.
it's taking too long to happen.
this town is so exciting that there was just too much to think of to do...so we made banana bread.
bryan and jessica
david at applebees thursday, taylor next to him.
every sticky-note under there said the same thing...hahahaha.
messy boy.
ugly i say.