(no subject)
i didn't get any sleep last night. i got my hopes up too high on a house we hoped to rent in reno, only to find out things weren't as they seemed. the previous tenant had apparently built, what i've dubbed a "children's dungeon" in the basement. it was a locked little room painted in pastel blue and yellow, it had like some kind of air tight, life size coffin container in there. the landlord said it was supposedly a "playhouse". riiiiight.
fuckingcreepy.
that, among many other things. we decided to rule that one out.
now its back to square one.
work was difficult to get through today. i cried at my desk today. i was mentally exhausted. looking for a place to live seems to turn your life upside down. as much as you try not to let it.
i hate that we can't live in seattle. i hate that the cards seems to be stacking higher and higher against us. how are you supposed to move somewhere when you don't have a place to actually go? or a job? or even friends? blah blah blah. same story i've been bitching about for far too long now. people say "just do it". its so easy to say when you are on the other side. but when you are a fucking worrying, freak basket case like me, things like that don't sit well. as spontaneous as i attempt to be, i still end up planning and double checking and worrying and eventually.... i've gotten nowhere.
aaron is working late and i'm here stuck with my own manic thoughts. i wish he would come home now and tell me i shouldn't be so worried.
fuckingcreepy.
that, among many other things. we decided to rule that one out.
now its back to square one.
work was difficult to get through today. i cried at my desk today. i was mentally exhausted. looking for a place to live seems to turn your life upside down. as much as you try not to let it.
i hate that we can't live in seattle. i hate that the cards seems to be stacking higher and higher against us. how are you supposed to move somewhere when you don't have a place to actually go? or a job? or even friends? blah blah blah. same story i've been bitching about for far too long now. people say "just do it". its so easy to say when you are on the other side. but when you are a fucking worrying, freak basket case like me, things like that don't sit well. as spontaneous as i attempt to be, i still end up planning and double checking and worrying and eventually.... i've gotten nowhere.
aaron is working late and i'm here stuck with my own manic thoughts. i wish he would come home now and tell me i shouldn't be so worried.