Do I ever cross your mind in the sunshine?
I need to talk. The problem is that I don't know who to talk to. Instead I suppose I will talk into this box, and hopefully for the first time in like 5 years I won't just delete what I wrote afterwards.
I wrote those words over a week ago. Then of course, I deleted them. I could not bear to write anymore .... regardless, here I am now, with every intent on submitting this when I am done. I am sitting here on my bed in my cottage reading posts by friends, or at least people I used to communicate with as friends on livejournal and facebook, and thinking about what everyone is doing with their lives. Several of them are getting married, got married, had kids, bought houses, condos, etc. Some of them are off to med school next year, law school, grad school, have real jobs, are living their lives. I have no idea how this happened, I feel like I am in a different world, that the people I used to know, the people I have spent so much time knowing are moving on with their lives, and in many cases I feel as if I no longer play a role in those lives. I mean, it's in part due to the lack of effort by me, but it couldn't have always been this one sided.
Selfishness aside, I guess I am moving on as well. As some of you, or none of you may know, I am moving to New York City in late August to start working for NYU. As weird as this may seem to a lot of people, it's not that unusal to me. The thought of moving to the US really never strayed from my mind for the past few years. Don't take me wrong, I love Canada, and honestly do not think that there is a place as amazing as Toronto anywhere else in the world (you know, Vancouver is nice, goregous actually... but it's not Toronto, it doesn't have the life or the culture that Toronto has), but I always knew that eventually I would have to move. It makes me sad to think that there is NO ONE in the ENTIRE country that I am terirbly excited about working for... I guess that is just the nature of science in Canada, sometimes your field is just not a top priority.
I can understand this... I mean if it were that important I would be reading right now instead of typing this (also, instead of listening to LFO while waiting for megavideo to let me watch more episodes of Merlin). I guess more on life later...
I wrote those words over a week ago. Then of course, I deleted them. I could not bear to write anymore .... regardless, here I am now, with every intent on submitting this when I am done. I am sitting here on my bed in my cottage reading posts by friends, or at least people I used to communicate with as friends on livejournal and facebook, and thinking about what everyone is doing with their lives. Several of them are getting married, got married, had kids, bought houses, condos, etc. Some of them are off to med school next year, law school, grad school, have real jobs, are living their lives. I have no idea how this happened, I feel like I am in a different world, that the people I used to know, the people I have spent so much time knowing are moving on with their lives, and in many cases I feel as if I no longer play a role in those lives. I mean, it's in part due to the lack of effort by me, but it couldn't have always been this one sided.
Selfishness aside, I guess I am moving on as well. As some of you, or none of you may know, I am moving to New York City in late August to start working for NYU. As weird as this may seem to a lot of people, it's not that unusal to me. The thought of moving to the US really never strayed from my mind for the past few years. Don't take me wrong, I love Canada, and honestly do not think that there is a place as amazing as Toronto anywhere else in the world (you know, Vancouver is nice, goregous actually... but it's not Toronto, it doesn't have the life or the culture that Toronto has), but I always knew that eventually I would have to move. It makes me sad to think that there is NO ONE in the ENTIRE country that I am terirbly excited about working for... I guess that is just the nature of science in Canada, sometimes your field is just not a top priority.
I can understand this... I mean if it were that important I would be reading right now instead of typing this (also, instead of listening to LFO while waiting for megavideo to let me watch more episodes of Merlin). I guess more on life later...