(no subject)

[_ponyboy_]

alright alright. so i havent posted in like a million months. thats not the point. .. the thing is life has been broken to shyt letely and its getting a bit hard to bare. it all started when my cousin from LA moved into my house because she was going a bit crazy. after 5 days here she runs away and ever since life has been chaotic( more than usual). so it seems like all my parents stress and anger has been focused to no other than me. i ran away from home on Friday. i couldnt stand being in the same house as these people so i just up and left around 11 at night. well i didnt actually run away i kinda just got away. i wasnt planning to hide i just needed sum time alone. so i was off with 12 dollars and my ipod ready to explore. well im out till about 2 am and its starting to get a bit creepy outside. so i decide to go to melvins house. as i get there my moms car pulls in. i thought about just taking off but i was to tired and cold. when i got home my mother lectured me and it semed like she didnt even care. her main worry was that she couldve gotten in a car accident because she was out looking for me at that late hour. right when she said that i immediatly tuned out. i didnt feel like talking to such a selfish person. the next morning is full of yelling and loads of chaos. my mom apperently feels im going down the same path as my cousin and wants me to get professional help. like a therapist or sumthing. so now im really pissed and i just fucken decide to leave. so i shout a few uhm.. bad words at my parents and before they could catch meim out the door. the rest of the day was awesome. i got to hang out with jose and finally just be free from my parents clutches. well it turns out im not the only guy with a rocky life. i found out a few others werent doing so well either( no names). well i get home this moring at around 10 feeling perfect nothing could make me feel bad cept for my parents. guess what they did. they have been interogating my cousins or any1 that i was close to so that she could find out about what i do. right before this happened she was telling me how we had to build trust with eachother and yet she goes and backstabs me. at this point i was so close to like fucking going off on my parents physically. i didnt do so because my sister was in the room. i think it was better that i didnt but i was soo angry. she then informs me that i cant hang out with my freinds becase she got some sort of info that the people i hung out with did drugs. but she wasnt talking about all of them. she only seemed to know about 1 person which was sum1 who i will tell tommrow. well anywayz long story short i fuking threaten to kill myself she freaks out and allows me to hang out with my freinds, due to her panic. she wants me to start taking drug tests and is looking into sending me to boot camp or a longterm psychoanalysis thing. well thats my life . so to keep me happy i plan to start painting. it seemed to work for my cuzin. this picture is a fingerpainting which i took no time on but i felt it was good to sybolize my shitty life and how in time as in painting life would get better.

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the face of an artist