selfish with everything. (i am iamiamiamiamiamiam...) god damn
I can only hear through one side of these headphones. After tripping over them two nights ago-they broke. I'm afraid that it may cause my left ear to hear better than the right, or unevenly- so im turning them upsidedown every five minutes. I worry too much. I'm worried that i've lost inspiration forever. it's been so long since i've had any and yet i still continue to over-work old memories.nothing means anything anymore. I'm worried i bother you. that i think way too hard about this..friendship? worried that i have higher regards to certain people thantheyhaveforme. im worried that people arent connected. worried there's no fate or signs that you're traveling in the right direction.that perhaps it's something i would like to believe; for comfort, security, or to believe in something because there's nothing else. that the people i've come to love will leave forever. that i'll forget. when im going to come home and get the smoking lecture, feeling that i dont love myself enough, what's happening with the rest of my fucking life. running, getting tired of these songs, feeling tired about those other songs, not crying enough, feeling the need to be empathetic towards others to make up for the times i've unintentionally fucked them over (even in the slightest), but then shouldnt you always try to be empathetic with people? though, i think i'd die if i was falsely cared about.
god livejournal is this fucking prick in my life.
sometimes you feel as though you need to entertain people, or selfishly entertain yourself by putting your stuff out there in hope of receiving comments to boost your ego.
this is such a joke.
and i gave into hypocrisy so long ago..
this is another song that has been on repeat. again.
i would love to know how i affect people. how i affect the quality of the day. if i do at all.
i think i'd hope to make people feel serene. at home maybe. and at the same time, knowing that they respect my need for solitude.
need for relapse
need to feel in my own way
need
you have to listen to this.
god livejournal is this fucking prick in my life.
sometimes you feel as though you need to entertain people, or selfishly entertain yourself by putting your stuff out there in hope of receiving comments to boost your ego.
this is such a joke.
and i gave into hypocrisy so long ago..
this is another song that has been on repeat. again.
i would love to know how i affect people. how i affect the quality of the day. if i do at all.
i think i'd hope to make people feel serene. at home maybe. and at the same time, knowing that they respect my need for solitude.
need for relapse
need to feel in my own way
need
you have to listen to this.