(no subject)

Aug 31, 2005 18:09

i'm going for a walk later when it gets dark. drink in the cold night air and soak in the moonlight. i'm not sure what i'm looking for but i haven't found it. it's like missing something i never had. i miss some unknown boy who never gave me a bouquet of dark red roses like helena had, who never wanted to go to that one little forest with me, who never stood outside my window with his radio. some unknown boy who never loved me. daniel looked at me in that one way for a moment (until he was slapped in the head). we had a brief but strong connection for a moment. i felt like i was looking into his very spirit. like i could see he was the type of boy who would do those things, but uh, he lives in england and we were in contact ONCE. i miss the love i never had and never even identified, and it's easier to give that abstract idea a face, and it's easier still to make that face daniel. i'm losing my fucking crackers.
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