Air Raid Siren Saves the Day
Is it bad that I don't cry about my dad anymore? I miss him, but I am beginning to forget, and it disheartens me. I loved him, but I didn't really know him. We visited him today, and we just stood there, all of us. Well, mom fell backwards, but then we were all just surrounding it. Staring at the placard that has been laying in dirt for almost eight years...I had disturbing thoughts in my head, of me seeing what was left of his body. I wanted to feel sick. but I felt freakishly calm. I wanted to cry, not because of him, but because I wasn't feeling what I was supposed to. Re-reading this makes me disgusted in myself. I told him I was sorry for being a bad child. But am I really? am I that bad? In my opinion, I could be much worse. But to him....how disappointed would he be in me?