Seattle
My boyfriend (pretty much fiance at this point, been together for almost 6 years) was transferred to Seattle earlier this year. I've been saving money and paying off bills and planning to move. Something is keeping me here (legally) and I'm so itchy to leave I don't know what to do sometimes. I feel like a little kid living at my parents' house and sharing a car with them and having dinner when they want to have dinner. All I want is a little autonomy and I think I might go crazy without it!
Looking back at my old entries I can't believe that I never got help when I needed it most. It's so clear to me that I was clinically depressed - I was sad for no reason since I can remember, I was keeping a food diary at 11, I had PTSD from a sexual assault, it goes on and on. I can't believe how much my life has changed from the time I did get help. I was just so sad all the damn time. Looking back, I can't imagine how that feels. Well, I can, but I'm embarrassed that I spent so much time obsessing about it.
I can't believe that I used to spend hours of my day working out, planning what I would eat, throwing up what I ate, and crying about it. There were so many other things I could have spent my time instead of bulimia and depression.
BUT - I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THERE IS A (somewhat) HAPPY ENDING TO THIS!
I ended up going to college, I got my BA in Psychology, magna cum laude. I went to law school and earned my JD. I don't currently practice as a lawyer, but I did earn my license to practice. So you can call me Esquire :). I failed my first time by 9 points, but nailed it the second time. I'm pretty happy where I am right now.
Except for the fact that I am on probation for something I did. I ended pleading guilty instead of having a long, drawn-out, trial, and risking a worse sentence. I don't know whether or not my law license will be suspended. I have been in substance abuse treatment for the past 6 months. It's something I'm ashamed to say, but in order to move on and grow up I need to be accountable. I've been doing community service, above and beyond the requirements set out for me. I feel really happy when I'm done. I'm going to keep it up regularly like a job, not as a court requirement.
The worse part is that I'm not allowed to move out to Jesse, my boyfriend. We had been planning on me moving out in March, but since I fucked up my life I'm on probation until July 2016. According to the court, and according to all the statutory information I can find, I can move to have my sentence ended after 1 year, in January 2016. I can also motion to be allowed to move to Seattle in the next few months. It's in the public's interest to have me move to my most stable environment. We were going to get engaged before I fucked everything up. My parents are tired of me living at home. It's best if I move and find a job and become a productive member of society. It's just so hard knowing that it's not up to me. And all I can do is beg to a judge. Luckily I'm a lawyer and I can manuever through the system easier than a novice.
It's just scary.
Looking back at my old entries I can't believe that I never got help when I needed it most. It's so clear to me that I was clinically depressed - I was sad for no reason since I can remember, I was keeping a food diary at 11, I had PTSD from a sexual assault, it goes on and on. I can't believe how much my life has changed from the time I did get help. I was just so sad all the damn time. Looking back, I can't imagine how that feels. Well, I can, but I'm embarrassed that I spent so much time obsessing about it.
I can't believe that I used to spend hours of my day working out, planning what I would eat, throwing up what I ate, and crying about it. There were so many other things I could have spent my time instead of bulimia and depression.
BUT - I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THERE IS A (somewhat) HAPPY ENDING TO THIS!
I ended up going to college, I got my BA in Psychology, magna cum laude. I went to law school and earned my JD. I don't currently practice as a lawyer, but I did earn my license to practice. So you can call me Esquire :). I failed my first time by 9 points, but nailed it the second time. I'm pretty happy where I am right now.
Except for the fact that I am on probation for something I did. I ended pleading guilty instead of having a long, drawn-out, trial, and risking a worse sentence. I don't know whether or not my law license will be suspended. I have been in substance abuse treatment for the past 6 months. It's something I'm ashamed to say, but in order to move on and grow up I need to be accountable. I've been doing community service, above and beyond the requirements set out for me. I feel really happy when I'm done. I'm going to keep it up regularly like a job, not as a court requirement.
The worse part is that I'm not allowed to move out to Jesse, my boyfriend. We had been planning on me moving out in March, but since I fucked up my life I'm on probation until July 2016. According to the court, and according to all the statutory information I can find, I can move to have my sentence ended after 1 year, in January 2016. I can also motion to be allowed to move to Seattle in the next few months. It's in the public's interest to have me move to my most stable environment. We were going to get engaged before I fucked everything up. My parents are tired of me living at home. It's best if I move and find a job and become a productive member of society. It's just so hard knowing that it's not up to me. And all I can do is beg to a judge. Luckily I'm a lawyer and I can manuever through the system easier than a novice.
It's just scary.