Title Without You
Author
lena108Pairing(s) Implied Axel/Roxas and Zexion/Demyx
Prompt and Claim #53 - Life. AkuRoku.
Rating PG
Word Count 902
They were all gathered in Xaldin’s room. Axel wasn’t entirely sure why. Perhaps because they no longer needed a meeting room for only seven members. Perhaps because he had things that would provide a distraction. Perhaps Xaldin just wanted to be the center of attention. Axel just didn’t know for sure. He had picked up one of the elder members spears and was playing with it to keep his attention on anything but his own thoughts. Demyx was lying on the bed with his hands behind his head, looking as though he were thinking hard. It only then occurred to Axel that he had been close to Zexion. He felt a small pang of guilt but said nothing. Luxord and Xigbar were playing a game of poker that looked like it would be over soon. Xemnas and Saïx were in a corner, talking with their heads bent close together. Axel had the distinct feeling that the latter was sucking up to the Superior. Xaldin finally entered the room and all became silent. The Nobody sighed softly and leaned against the wall.
“He’s merged with the Keyblade bearer,” he stated, his eyes lingering on Axel’s. “There’s nothing we can do now.” The temptation to take out the eyes still locked on his own was great, but Axel managed to hold his composure.
“That’s not true,” he stated. Suddenly, all eyes were on him-Xaldin’s, cold and composed as ever. Xemnas and Saïx, both with mixed curiosity and disapproval. Xigbar and Luxord, both cool, yet concerned. Finally, Demyx’s, confused and still seemingly pained at his own loss. Demyx’s eyes were lonely-more so than the rest. He was alienated more that usual.
“Of course it’s true,” Xaldin stated, frowning. “All the date shows that-“
“It’s not true!” Axel yelled, hurling the spear across the room. Xaldin was just out of the way in time as the spear impaled the wooden desk he’d been leaning against, diving in halfway until it stopped. Demyx sat up on the bed and everything was silent once more. Axel wasted no extra time. He stormed past a still very surprised Xaldin and into the hallways. He heard the Superior call for him to come back, but the order fell on deaf ears. Nothing really mattered anymore. Everyone else was a fake. He couldn’t care less about Marluxia or Lexaeus or Vexen… even Larxene’s death hadn’t felt like such a horrible blow. Roxas… he had been different.
Axel could hear footsteps behind him. He didn’t care who it was as long as it wasn’t Saïx. He turned sharply and came face to face with Demyx. The younger member offered the redhead a smile and started walking with him. They reached the desolate town before either finally said anything.
“The Superior was pretty mad,” Demyx stated cautiously.
“I don’t give a shit,” Axel stated honestly. “Why’d you follow me?”
“I wanted to talk to you,” Demyx said with a sigh.
“About what?” Axel frowned. The two of them sat on the steps of the run-down city call.
“Anything. I didn’t want to sit there and listen to them talk about you… and I didn’t want to talk to you with them there.” Axel had the feeling that he was thinking about Zexion. It had been a year, but Axel knew he would never stop thinking about Roxas, why should Demyx be any different with Zexion?
“Ever get the feeling that you’re completely alone even though you’re in a crowded room?”
“All the time.” Demyx smiled slightly. “It wasn’t always like that though, I used to feel like a person.”
“You know that it had to happen,” Axel told him, trying to justify what he’d done. “He betrayed us.”
“I know it had to be done,” Demyx told him. “I’m not trying to make excuses for him. If anything, I wish he hadn’t done it. I wish he’d just gone on agreeing with the Superior.”
“Yeah… too bad he didn’t…”
“I still miss him.” Demyx smiled over at Axel. “It probably sounds stupid, but sometimes I pretend he’s still here. I can hear his voice and I’m happy again.”
“Yeah,” Axel admitted. “It does sound stupid.” Demyx ignored him and went on anyway.
“I just wish I could have done more for him.”
“Like what?” Axel asked, frowning, though he wasn’t particularly interested.
“Cried,” Demyx said softly. This caught Axel’s attention and he turned to the other to listen intently now. “I wish I could have cried to let him know I miss him. I don’t like just feeling empty inside. It just doesn’t feel right.”
Axel didn’t speak after that. He really didn’t trust himself to. He simply sat in silence, making small wishes to himself. He wished he hadn’t killed Zexion and hurt Demyx. He wished that he could feel more than he did. He wished the he were anywhere else but in that horrible existence. Above all, however, Axel silently wished that he could cry for Roxas.
END