Ari Hates Life!
As it is very obvious, Ari is particularly pissy right now! And it is my job as his player to pretend this is justified behavior. I will also just ramble on briefly Ari's VARIOUS ISSUES.
The month of June has been rough on little Ari! Let us review, in no order whatsoever.
-Something is wrong with Wolfwood but Ari doesn't know what
-Catboys kidnapped Kio on Fathers' Day resulting in panic
-Demon problems, had to fight Stan: had a fight with Russel during this fight
-Simon... ...he exists to yell at Ari
-Marlene 'died' and Ari had to hide the 'body' in his store
-Slap engaged by catboys
-Several old campers reappeared without memory
-Jay thought Ari turned invisible: HEART ATTACK TIME
-Ed moved in with Al and Ari... JEALOUSY ISSUES
-Sousuke is back, yay! Sousuke still has his guns, FUCK.
-Okay actually, catboys in general are always an issue
-Talk with Gojyo
-Threatened by Nishi
-Ash won't believe Ling is a "Rocket", failure to protect Ash from himself
-Jealousy and anger cuz Sorata likes Nishi
Now lets sort some of this out. First of all, issues of existance and homelife. That'd be Marlene's 'death', returning campers forgetting Ari and Jay's accidental declaring that Ari was invisible.
Existing means a lot to Ari because he's not sure if he actually does exist. He recognizes that his world is, as he described to Zatch once, "a magic storybook." And the storybook was made for Marlene and the purpose of that story was to entertain her. Her 'death' was traumatizing enough. Even though Ari KNEW she was a doll and NOT the real Marlene, he still saw her as a person. The fact that her body wasn't real didn't mean that much. Al was once armor afterall, and Roxas is a piece of Sora. Because of these things, Ari feels strongly enough to consider this Marlene her own seperate entity from the real one. He doesn't like this Marlene--he does like the real one and has feelings for that Marlene however, they met once in camp. But that all aside, her death was also disturbing in this way--what made her die? Did the magic die out? Is something wrong back home? Will something happen to me? Could I just be a doll too? Ari isn't afraid of death, he's not. But he IS afraid of not existing and he IS afraid that he isn't human. So this bothers him... A lot. Hiding the body in his store was just an extra ow because it...was hiding a body of someone he saw as human in a way that suggested she was not. She was treated, by himself and by Rosalyn, as a doll. He's ashamed of himself for it.
Now~! The suggestion that he became invisible scared him to death, as something like that happened canonly and he was less than a ghost. Nobody saw him, heard him, could touch him, and all traces of his existance appeared to have vanished. Which leads into campers forgetting Ari. Ari thinks if he's forgotten it leads to the before mentioned state: Being forgotten will make me disappear. So even though he wasn't close to all these people, being forgotten by them still affects him a lot. Because this just leads to himself questioning his existance, what he really is, etc. It's not comfortable for him to dwell on and he suspects that everyone--Al, Ash, Russel, Gojyo, Uryuu, EVERYONE EVERYONE--will one day forget him.
Jealousy issues now! Ari is a very jealous person, Tomo once joked in irc to me that Ari could be the next Envy. And it's TRUE. Ari is, in general, very envious of other people. He wishes he was more like other people. And there's also just jealousy attention wise. Ari loves attention. At the end of a day? He is an attention whore. He loves when people listen to him, loves when people play with him, loves just being looked at or smiled at him.
First the easy one, Sorata adopted Ari AND Nishi. On any other day this may have been laughed at and even approved of. But this also occured the day after Nishi made one of his disturbing threats to Ari. So instead, the reaction was along the lines of...why am I on the same level as that jerk. How dare you like him as much as you like me. I'm BETTER than him. He may not have said that all aloud, but that was Ari's thoughts. Nishi is someone Ari recognizes he is similar to but considers himself better than. Which doesn't happen often cuz Ari has self hatred. But Nishi's sour and repellant personality allows Ari to see himself as "better" without guilt. Thinking Sorata thought of them on equal terms erked him. A LOT.
NOW THE BIGGER ISSUE. Elrics. Mother fucking ELRICS. Ari has the biggest inferiority complex when it comes to the Elrics in general. They are superior to him in every way he can imagine and there is nothing they can't do. So already Ari is just crippled by that whenever he talks to Ed. He's afraid of Ed and intimidated by Ed. Now before they were in Roy's dorms, Ari and Al were staying in Cabin 5 under dangerous conditions.
Ari liked it. Because Al was depending on Ari to help him out. Ari felt, for probably one of the first times EVER in their friendship, that Al NEEDED him. That he had to be there, that he was important, that he was valuable. As rough as the situation was, he finally felt to some extent that he was useful to Al.
But now they're back in safety. This wouldn't be so bad except...Ed is back as well. And they are all in the same bedroom. Ari pretty much feels like...okay, I'm no longer useful. Ed is here. Ed is better than me. Ed can take care of anything Al needs better than I can AND Al likes Ed way better than me because that's his brother. I don't need to be here, I'm in the way. They are a family but I am not part of that family in ANY way. Ari feels a kind of family bond with Al, but not with Ed so his being in the room feels a lot like being intrusive to him. So he hates himself for being there, but is also kinda miffed that Ed is there. And he knows that's wrong of him and at the end of the day despite his intimidation he does like Ed. He knows he's wrong and hates himself for it and really.... He was using his tiff with Al as an excuse to escape the situation because he felt he didn't belong there anymore.
And now I have to work. I bet none of that made sense I'LL FIX IT LATER K.
The month of June has been rough on little Ari! Let us review, in no order whatsoever.
-Something is wrong with Wolfwood but Ari doesn't know what
-Catboys kidnapped Kio on Fathers' Day resulting in panic
-Demon problems, had to fight Stan: had a fight with Russel during this fight
-Simon... ...he exists to yell at Ari
-Marlene 'died' and Ari had to hide the 'body' in his store
-Slap engaged by catboys
-Several old campers reappeared without memory
-Jay thought Ari turned invisible: HEART ATTACK TIME
-Ed moved in with Al and Ari... JEALOUSY ISSUES
-Sousuke is back, yay! Sousuke still has his guns, FUCK.
-Okay actually, catboys in general are always an issue
-Talk with Gojyo
-Threatened by Nishi
-Ash won't believe Ling is a "Rocket", failure to protect Ash from himself
-Jealousy and anger cuz Sorata likes Nishi
Now lets sort some of this out. First of all, issues of existance and homelife. That'd be Marlene's 'death', returning campers forgetting Ari and Jay's accidental declaring that Ari was invisible.
Existing means a lot to Ari because he's not sure if he actually does exist. He recognizes that his world is, as he described to Zatch once, "a magic storybook." And the storybook was made for Marlene and the purpose of that story was to entertain her. Her 'death' was traumatizing enough. Even though Ari KNEW she was a doll and NOT the real Marlene, he still saw her as a person. The fact that her body wasn't real didn't mean that much. Al was once armor afterall, and Roxas is a piece of Sora. Because of these things, Ari feels strongly enough to consider this Marlene her own seperate entity from the real one. He doesn't like this Marlene--he does like the real one and has feelings for that Marlene however, they met once in camp. But that all aside, her death was also disturbing in this way--what made her die? Did the magic die out? Is something wrong back home? Will something happen to me? Could I just be a doll too? Ari isn't afraid of death, he's not. But he IS afraid of not existing and he IS afraid that he isn't human. So this bothers him... A lot. Hiding the body in his store was just an extra ow because it...was hiding a body of someone he saw as human in a way that suggested she was not. She was treated, by himself and by Rosalyn, as a doll. He's ashamed of himself for it.
Now~! The suggestion that he became invisible scared him to death, as something like that happened canonly and he was less than a ghost. Nobody saw him, heard him, could touch him, and all traces of his existance appeared to have vanished. Which leads into campers forgetting Ari. Ari thinks if he's forgotten it leads to the before mentioned state: Being forgotten will make me disappear. So even though he wasn't close to all these people, being forgotten by them still affects him a lot. Because this just leads to himself questioning his existance, what he really is, etc. It's not comfortable for him to dwell on and he suspects that everyone--Al, Ash, Russel, Gojyo, Uryuu, EVERYONE EVERYONE--will one day forget him.
Jealousy issues now! Ari is a very jealous person, Tomo once joked in irc to me that Ari could be the next Envy. And it's TRUE. Ari is, in general, very envious of other people. He wishes he was more like other people. And there's also just jealousy attention wise. Ari loves attention. At the end of a day? He is an attention whore. He loves when people listen to him, loves when people play with him, loves just being looked at or smiled at him.
First the easy one, Sorata adopted Ari AND Nishi. On any other day this may have been laughed at and even approved of. But this also occured the day after Nishi made one of his disturbing threats to Ari. So instead, the reaction was along the lines of...why am I on the same level as that jerk. How dare you like him as much as you like me. I'm BETTER than him. He may not have said that all aloud, but that was Ari's thoughts. Nishi is someone Ari recognizes he is similar to but considers himself better than. Which doesn't happen often cuz Ari has self hatred. But Nishi's sour and repellant personality allows Ari to see himself as "better" without guilt. Thinking Sorata thought of them on equal terms erked him. A LOT.
NOW THE BIGGER ISSUE. Elrics. Mother fucking ELRICS. Ari has the biggest inferiority complex when it comes to the Elrics in general. They are superior to him in every way he can imagine and there is nothing they can't do. So already Ari is just crippled by that whenever he talks to Ed. He's afraid of Ed and intimidated by Ed. Now before they were in Roy's dorms, Ari and Al were staying in Cabin 5 under dangerous conditions.
Ari liked it. Because Al was depending on Ari to help him out. Ari felt, for probably one of the first times EVER in their friendship, that Al NEEDED him. That he had to be there, that he was important, that he was valuable. As rough as the situation was, he finally felt to some extent that he was useful to Al.
But now they're back in safety. This wouldn't be so bad except...Ed is back as well. And they are all in the same bedroom. Ari pretty much feels like...okay, I'm no longer useful. Ed is here. Ed is better than me. Ed can take care of anything Al needs better than I can AND Al likes Ed way better than me because that's his brother. I don't need to be here, I'm in the way. They are a family but I am not part of that family in ANY way. Ari feels a kind of family bond with Al, but not with Ed so his being in the room feels a lot like being intrusive to him. So he hates himself for being there, but is also kinda miffed that Ed is there. And he knows that's wrong of him and at the end of the day despite his intimidation he does like Ed. He knows he's wrong and hates himself for it and really.... He was using his tiff with Al as an excuse to escape the situation because he felt he didn't belong there anymore.
And now I have to work. I bet none of that made sense I'LL FIX IT LATER K.