(no subject)

[_oozingcrimson_]

today was worse than yesterday. i woke up early, told Chris i wasn't up to going to warped tour so they took Amanda instead. Time went by slower than usual and I had so much free time. I went swimming in my own pool, havent done that since last summer. I felt like a stranger at my own home, since i spent so much time here today. belle was even nice to me, i guess she knew what was up. so she treated me to lunch at cheesecake. had a long talk with my 15 year old sister, and she told me the same thing everyone is telling me. it's crazy how she kind of understands me now that she's getting older. turns out i dont know a lot of things about her, like how shes dating mike's little brother, jordan. great. she says that i need to take different things into consideration. i don't know if i'm stubborn and only want to see things my way, or if i just dont want to be wrong about my feelings. after lunch i dropped her off at her friend's house and went back home. took my dad's black and milds and smoked 3 in the poolhouse, while blasting music and lying down. i couldnt take it so i started driving to her house. halfway, right before i got to glendale, i turned around....... went to work at six and grabbed a late dinner with mel at in-n-out. here i am in my room...i find now that i have nothing to do with myself. im going to brush up on my guitar sometime this week, start packing for san diego in august....im really losing it. help.

ps a huge thank you to all my friends who helped me out, yesterday and last night, and today. i appreciate it a lot.