To Old Friends
For some reason, I haven't written much of anything for ages. I used to have my depression and angst as a muse, but once I became "happy" or at least not depressed my creativity just went out the door. But I truly do miss it. And I even miss blogging/journaling, which I used to do daily, then weekly, then randomly until it trickled off into a practically non-existant factor in my life. But it truly is good for the soul, and it can help you even talk to yourself, I suppose. I'm not really sure what these notes are for, but I just figured I'd put a little blog-type deal up and pass it as like a note to people who may care what I'm thinking about and going through at this stage in my life, I suppose.
I'm really starting to recognize that I'm older and more mature and I need to figure out what's important to me in my life, and what makes me happy. I'm really concerned about not having a stable job now. I quit working at the Dollar Tree, caught a break with a bus company being a bus monitor for kids with special needs, but that didn't work out because of a distance issue amongst other things. It's just so hard to find a job nowadays. Now I'm thinking I should just go back to school, but I really don't want to go for the wrong thing, and there are so many things I could really see myself enjoying. I would love to go for Business Management, perhaps even with a musical twist. Perhaps be a producer or a company owner, who knows? The world will always love music and there will always be money in it somehow, so it's a good job to pursue. Of course, anything in the health profession would be intelligent and that was the route I was thinking about going for a bit, but I figured that wouldn't be sufficient for me. Caring for the sick, perhaps seeing people die, or if I was a medical transcripter or something that would probably get dull, or at least irritating.
It's really depressing not having any money whatsoever and depending on my boyfriend who doesn't get much money himself to support me and stuff. But I'm a cheapskate with his money, just like I am with my own, because in essence it *is* OUR money, and we both have helped each other out. And he drives me nuts with it, also. I can't seem to save any money with this boy which is what we BOTH want and know is a necessity to do. I've also been thinking about how I made a deal with my mom, to pay for my first semester in school so that she could make sure I'm committed to go. Well, I'm just really not sure how I would pay for it. Josh and I came to Florida so I could visit with family. He thought in his head somehow that we could save money doing this. I'm not really sure how he figured that would happen, but even with just his phone bill and supporting his caffeine infatuation alone would clear out most of the money, most likely. That, on top of his love for fast food. He has not eaten much here at my gram's house at all. And, lets not forget my car insurance which I hope doesn't cause my bank to overdraft since they NEEDED my information and there are absolutely NO Citizen Banks down here.
So, besides ranting, I'm wondering what a lot of my old friends have been up to. I check out facebook, myspace. I'm not sure why, but I don't talk to anyone I think about. I don't try to start up a conversation and see what's going on, I just kind of lurk. It's pretty weird actually, and perhaps I should stop that and step up and talk to people. Who knows, maybe I could re-kindle a few burnt out friendships. =P
-Mandy
I'm really starting to recognize that I'm older and more mature and I need to figure out what's important to me in my life, and what makes me happy. I'm really concerned about not having a stable job now. I quit working at the Dollar Tree, caught a break with a bus company being a bus monitor for kids with special needs, but that didn't work out because of a distance issue amongst other things. It's just so hard to find a job nowadays. Now I'm thinking I should just go back to school, but I really don't want to go for the wrong thing, and there are so many things I could really see myself enjoying. I would love to go for Business Management, perhaps even with a musical twist. Perhaps be a producer or a company owner, who knows? The world will always love music and there will always be money in it somehow, so it's a good job to pursue. Of course, anything in the health profession would be intelligent and that was the route I was thinking about going for a bit, but I figured that wouldn't be sufficient for me. Caring for the sick, perhaps seeing people die, or if I was a medical transcripter or something that would probably get dull, or at least irritating.
It's really depressing not having any money whatsoever and depending on my boyfriend who doesn't get much money himself to support me and stuff. But I'm a cheapskate with his money, just like I am with my own, because in essence it *is* OUR money, and we both have helped each other out. And he drives me nuts with it, also. I can't seem to save any money with this boy which is what we BOTH want and know is a necessity to do. I've also been thinking about how I made a deal with my mom, to pay for my first semester in school so that she could make sure I'm committed to go. Well, I'm just really not sure how I would pay for it. Josh and I came to Florida so I could visit with family. He thought in his head somehow that we could save money doing this. I'm not really sure how he figured that would happen, but even with just his phone bill and supporting his caffeine infatuation alone would clear out most of the money, most likely. That, on top of his love for fast food. He has not eaten much here at my gram's house at all. And, lets not forget my car insurance which I hope doesn't cause my bank to overdraft since they NEEDED my information and there are absolutely NO Citizen Banks down here.
So, besides ranting, I'm wondering what a lot of my old friends have been up to. I check out facebook, myspace. I'm not sure why, but I don't talk to anyone I think about. I don't try to start up a conversation and see what's going on, I just kind of lurk. It's pretty weird actually, and perhaps I should stop that and step up and talk to people. Who knows, maybe I could re-kindle a few burnt out friendships. =P
-Mandy