(no subject)
so anyways.
cigarettes are gone out of my life. forever.
theyve been gone for close to two weeks, that was a stupid phase, it really was.
i just cleaned out my wholeee room, 6 bags of trash later lol.
it looks good though
i hungout with my friend joe last night, from work.
then tiffany.
then kirsten.
it was fun.
as for ryan, i know i need to leave him. and everyone else knows this too. i dont know why its so damn hard. everytime i go to do it, i cant? my friend racheal told me it sounds like im in a verbally mentally abusive relationship, and im beginning to feel the same way. the way he thinks does not make sense, what so ever. he gets mad at me over stupid little things, and makes me seem like some naive little girl to his friends, who hes just with because he feels like he has to be. does he not understand the fact that every time we break up, i do the breaking up, and every time we get back together, its him crawling back to me, begging me to take him back, crying, throwing a fit. he realizes all of our problems are caused because of him, when were broken up. then he changes right back to the same asshole when we get back together. hes fucking weird. but every fucking time i go to break up with him, i cant! and im getting really sick of it. i know theres other guys out there who would treat me so much better, and some of them are right in front of my face. i dont want to be miserable for the rest of my life. i know i look sooo pathetic its just like ...then just fucking dump him jackass. its easier said than done...thats for sure. and btw, we never have sex anymore. ever. we basically have a really fucked up friendship. like its not just because hes not in the mood. HE NEVER EVER WANTS TO. EVER. even his friends yell at him, about it. we go months without sex, and im soooo fucking sick of it. like its not just the sex that bothers me, its everything. i am not happy. and i havent been happy for the past two years with him. is that wrong? and why can i never find a good enough reason to break up with him. even though me not being happy is more than a good enough reason. the only time i can dump him, is when he makes me mad. he needs to really piss me off, just so i can do it. and im waiting for that day. other wise i feel like i made a mistake by breaking up with him. even though he treats me like some fucking bitch whenever im there. okay see these are all good enough reasons...i know they are, you know they are, he knows they are. but still i continue to be with him. hes mentally and verbally abusing me!!
cigarettes are gone out of my life. forever.
theyve been gone for close to two weeks, that was a stupid phase, it really was.
i just cleaned out my wholeee room, 6 bags of trash later lol.
it looks good though
i hungout with my friend joe last night, from work.
then tiffany.
then kirsten.
it was fun.
as for ryan, i know i need to leave him. and everyone else knows this too. i dont know why its so damn hard. everytime i go to do it, i cant? my friend racheal told me it sounds like im in a verbally mentally abusive relationship, and im beginning to feel the same way. the way he thinks does not make sense, what so ever. he gets mad at me over stupid little things, and makes me seem like some naive little girl to his friends, who hes just with because he feels like he has to be. does he not understand the fact that every time we break up, i do the breaking up, and every time we get back together, its him crawling back to me, begging me to take him back, crying, throwing a fit. he realizes all of our problems are caused because of him, when were broken up. then he changes right back to the same asshole when we get back together. hes fucking weird. but every fucking time i go to break up with him, i cant! and im getting really sick of it. i know theres other guys out there who would treat me so much better, and some of them are right in front of my face. i dont want to be miserable for the rest of my life. i know i look sooo pathetic its just like ...then just fucking dump him jackass. its easier said than done...thats for sure. and btw, we never have sex anymore. ever. we basically have a really fucked up friendship. like its not just because hes not in the mood. HE NEVER EVER WANTS TO. EVER. even his friends yell at him, about it. we go months without sex, and im soooo fucking sick of it. like its not just the sex that bothers me, its everything. i am not happy. and i havent been happy for the past two years with him. is that wrong? and why can i never find a good enough reason to break up with him. even though me not being happy is more than a good enough reason. the only time i can dump him, is when he makes me mad. he needs to really piss me off, just so i can do it. and im waiting for that day. other wise i feel like i made a mistake by breaking up with him. even though he treats me like some fucking bitch whenever im there. okay see these are all good enough reasons...i know they are, you know they are, he knows they are. but still i continue to be with him. hes mentally and verbally abusing me!!