You've got to promise not to stop when I say when....
In the grand scheme of things, I've come to realize that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Take yesterday for example... I had it mapped out for days. Work OT, and party with my friends at night. I tried to put feelings into words and when that didn't work out for me, naturally, I put them to action. I wouldn't change a thing, but I also have to realize that plans don't always work out the way I'd envisioned.. and yet again, planning isn't necessarily the best course of action for me.
The result? I couldn't sleep and I'm still shaking with excitement. Because what I feel is like nothing I have felt before. Something about this feels genuine.
This week has been a beautiful disaster. My school was cancelled on me at the very last minute due to lack of profs, which I find ridiculous considering all three classes were full by mid summer, with waiting lists to boot. I had a surgery scheduled to correct the damage caused by my illness last year. The morning of, I woke up with the flu and it had to be rescheduled. Viruses acquired in hospitals when your immune system is on the down and out, can be deadly. My uncle was diagnosed with cancer on Sunday, and passed away by Thursday morning. So tragic and caught us all off guard. But through everything, I had someone to make me laugh every day. Who took the time to check in on me, and was an absolute doll. For the life of me people, don't let me let this one get away.. no matter how often I second guess myself or try to push. You've got to promise not to stop when I say when.......
Last but not least, I'm still uncertain about my November vacation time. I can't decide between New York, Seattle or LA. All of which I have my own reasons to go, but I need to figure out which one takes priority.
My heart is really happy, Seattle happy. Happier than it's been in a long time. And I plan to keep it that way.
The result? I couldn't sleep and I'm still shaking with excitement. Because what I feel is like nothing I have felt before. Something about this feels genuine.
This week has been a beautiful disaster. My school was cancelled on me at the very last minute due to lack of profs, which I find ridiculous considering all three classes were full by mid summer, with waiting lists to boot. I had a surgery scheduled to correct the damage caused by my illness last year. The morning of, I woke up with the flu and it had to be rescheduled. Viruses acquired in hospitals when your immune system is on the down and out, can be deadly. My uncle was diagnosed with cancer on Sunday, and passed away by Thursday morning. So tragic and caught us all off guard. But through everything, I had someone to make me laugh every day. Who took the time to check in on me, and was an absolute doll. For the life of me people, don't let me let this one get away.. no matter how often I second guess myself or try to push. You've got to promise not to stop when I say when.......
Last but not least, I'm still uncertain about my November vacation time. I can't decide between New York, Seattle or LA. All of which I have my own reasons to go, but I need to figure out which one takes priority.
My heart is really happy, Seattle happy. Happier than it's been in a long time. And I plan to keep it that way.