yesturday's entry
THIS IS YESTURDAY'S ENTRY BECAUSE LIVEJOURNAL WAS MESSED UP!
today was such a bad day. the only good thing was chris coming to save me and seeing bryan. i just am about to the point that i am going to kill my sister. she tried to tell me that i cannot hang out with my friend today which is now friday cuz it's friggen 4 in the morning. the only reason why i am awake is so i can hang out with my friends. my thanksgiving sucked and everything just happened to hit me at once and i don't even know why i don't if it was cuz bryan was having thankgiving with jenn and not with me ( no offense to you guys) and that i was alone and that i missed last year even though it sucked cuz atleast he was here with me to deal with all the shit and i didn't have to go though with it alone like i had to this year. just everything hit me at once. and i just really hurt.i have been having a lot of bad thoughts lately and it really scares me because i have not thought about these things in such a long time and really just feel like i am not good enough anymore and not i can't make bryan happy like everyone else can but i don't anymore and that really hurts and i don't even know why i feel like this it just hutrts so much.i don't want to keep feeling like this anymore and i don't want to keep it in anymore cuz it hurts so much. i have been trying to keep it in cuz everyone else has their issues and i don't want to make their lives worth by adding my shit onto it.i dunno what's wrong with me. just today and all the screaming and fighting and just argueing and me being told to wake my ass up and that i don't do shit and i'm a lazy fat ass. thanx aunt rose i hope you know you suck at life. well if you haven't noticed this is my venting. i really hope it doesn't offend anyone but i just can't keep it in any longer it hurts to much. and there is other stuff but that is between bryan and i and you peoplez do not need to know!!! but i love bryan so much and i never want to lose him. i just miss how it used to be when we first got together. even though there was a lot more issues with our families i just feeel i dunno strange i'm not gonna get into anymore between bryan and i. just today really sucked and i could've used someone this morning was i was on the verge of losing all sanity.and i another final thing. to everyone who thinks they are the only one that has problems your wrong! and your not the only one so stop saying that you are and making me feel like this okies cuz it reallys bothers me that some people only look at their own damn life and their own damn problems and don't bother to think about all the other people that probably have way worse shit going on. stop the drama please your not the only one and you are not alone so please stop saying and feeling like it.anywhoo that you people probably think i am a major bitch now good night i love you all and miss youz.
leave a comment if you feel the need. sweet nightmares
bryan and the guild the last section is not directed anyway towards youz okies.
sweetnightmares goulz and galz i feel a lot better now nighty night
anywayz today was another really bad day wi th lotz of fighting between bryan and i. i don't know how much more i can take. my heart is breaking. i'm breaking into pieces slowly. my sanity is leaving and the urges are coming back. god please don't me go back to it for which i have not done so long
today was such a bad day. the only good thing was chris coming to save me and seeing bryan. i just am about to the point that i am going to kill my sister. she tried to tell me that i cannot hang out with my friend today which is now friday cuz it's friggen 4 in the morning. the only reason why i am awake is so i can hang out with my friends. my thanksgiving sucked and everything just happened to hit me at once and i don't even know why i don't if it was cuz bryan was having thankgiving with jenn and not with me ( no offense to you guys) and that i was alone and that i missed last year even though it sucked cuz atleast he was here with me to deal with all the shit and i didn't have to go though with it alone like i had to this year. just everything hit me at once. and i just really hurt.i have been having a lot of bad thoughts lately and it really scares me because i have not thought about these things in such a long time and really just feel like i am not good enough anymore and not i can't make bryan happy like everyone else can but i don't anymore and that really hurts and i don't even know why i feel like this it just hutrts so much.i don't want to keep feeling like this anymore and i don't want to keep it in anymore cuz it hurts so much. i have been trying to keep it in cuz everyone else has their issues and i don't want to make their lives worth by adding my shit onto it.i dunno what's wrong with me. just today and all the screaming and fighting and just argueing and me being told to wake my ass up and that i don't do shit and i'm a lazy fat ass. thanx aunt rose i hope you know you suck at life. well if you haven't noticed this is my venting. i really hope it doesn't offend anyone but i just can't keep it in any longer it hurts to much. and there is other stuff but that is between bryan and i and you peoplez do not need to know!!! but i love bryan so much and i never want to lose him. i just miss how it used to be when we first got together. even though there was a lot more issues with our families i just feeel i dunno strange i'm not gonna get into anymore between bryan and i. just today really sucked and i could've used someone this morning was i was on the verge of losing all sanity.and i another final thing. to everyone who thinks they are the only one that has problems your wrong! and your not the only one so stop saying that you are and making me feel like this okies cuz it reallys bothers me that some people only look at their own damn life and their own damn problems and don't bother to think about all the other people that probably have way worse shit going on. stop the drama please your not the only one and you are not alone so please stop saying and feeling like it.anywhoo that you people probably think i am a major bitch now good night i love you all and miss youz.
leave a comment if you feel the need. sweet nightmares
bryan and the guild the last section is not directed anyway towards youz okies.
sweetnightmares goulz and galz i feel a lot better now nighty night
anywayz today was another really bad day wi th lotz of fighting between bryan and i. i don't know how much more i can take. my heart is breaking. i'm breaking into pieces slowly. my sanity is leaving and the urges are coming back. god please don't me go back to it for which i have not done so long