Aug 30, 2004 00:02
today has been a long day just sat around and watched lifetime movies just like i used to with leesh on every sunday.a lot of been going through my mind tonight. i know this is weird but mary-kate olsen is my idol. lol anywayz i'm a psycho.i went to boston on monday with my bryan and saw the lord of the rings exhibit and it was pretty cool. pretty nifty.grrrr to kesley.rgjkhaeruighaeruilhj.RAWR.
anywayz people piss me off. well yeah slept over bryan's and he dyed my hair so it is like black cherry purplish. it is getting so long.went and saw hero it was good but i hate subtitles they drive me nuts and i hate fake flying fighting scenes. i dunno otherwise good movie.now i'm in a crappy modd cuz of kelsey.blah.schools starting i don't have any school supplies bought i don't have money i'm sick of being poor.i need a job.i need a life.rawr.i don't want my family to be poor anymore.i wish things would just turn around.i don't want to sing anymore. cuz i'll never be good any enough for anyone anywayz. so fuck this. fuck ms. macintire.and my dad can go fucking burn in hell cuz i'll never be fucking good enough asshole. goodnight. well that was the entry from my deadjournal but i want to add stuff. i have been so emotional and things have been hitting me hard lately and i have been feeling so insecure with myseklf(not like that's a new thing) but just with my voice, my life my future college everything one little thing could change my life forever. but right now all i know is 18 better come fast cuz i am sick of being called a fat pig and being told i eat everything when eat nothing and maybe just maybe if my famiyl took a second realize what was going on in my life they would know i have eating issues and that my dad doesn't make things better only worse. and how much it hurts with everything he calls me how it effects me emotionally and stabily if that even makes sense.i don't know anymore all i know is when school comes food is out of my life.perfection is on the way.and when i am 18 i am getting the FUCK OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE FOREVER. SWEETNIGHTMARES EVERYONE