Let me get this out

[_on_a_string_]

Unfortunately I feel the need to rant about something and I really hope he reads it. I know it's mean but at this point, I don't care. I fucking hate that selfish bastard. I never could have imagined being hurt like he hurt me. It changed my entire outlook on love. Even now, after a few months, I feel like I'm missing part of myself. I find it spineless and pathetic how he acts towards me now. You can't even find it in yourself to be friendly? He must be the most insensitive, cruel person ever. He tells me how "over me" he is and how I should never talk to him again, but he has no reasons for it. He says that he doesn't need to be pleasant because he doesn't care about me enough. He makes me out to be this mean person who changed him and took away his friends and blah blah blah but I don't control anybody but myself. Own up for once and admit that that was your choice. Stop holding it against me. It might be easier for me to forget about you if my brain was fried from drugs too but that's not me so at least respect that. It makes me sick knowing that I'm still getting over someone like him. It's hard. It's probably the hardest thing I've been through and no one understands that. Who do I talk to? No one cares. I want to slap him and wake him up from this fantasy world he lives in. No one can treat people how he does. I'm pretty sure he believes in that karma crap and if so, he has got some very very bad luck coming. I wanted to be okay with him. All I asked for was a friendship but instead he chose to be selfish and cold. But hey, what can I expect from him? That is all he is. That is what I get for falling in love with an asshole. I'm beginning to think it was all a lie. Eleven months of my life were a lie. Now when I think back on those times, I feel like it was a dream. The pictures we have together, smiling and happy, are nothing to me. I don't even recognize the person he is anymore. Every day gets better though. I'm whole-heartedly looking forward to a time when I remember him as a very distant memory.

On a much more positive note, I met an amazing guy tonight. He came into the theater and bought his ticket while I was working and we were smiling at eachother but he didn't say anything. After I got off he came up and introduced himself and asked me if I wanted to go out somewhere so we went to SteaknShake (of course) and talked for about two hours. We have a lot in common and I think he's really attractive. It was so random but perfect. He's going to visit me at work tommorrow so we can make plans to see eachother again. I don't want to get my hopes up but I feel like this is definitely a good thing.

I miss Anthony and want him to come home with my shirt. Laura, let's hang out tommorrow night, okay?