(no subject)
Just completed a five page research/persuasive paper on US trade policy with China in two hours of straight work. I am feeling amazing~~! I have never done something so deligently and it actually sounds good. I couldn't even bullshit! I have to support with too much information.
WATCH OUT WORLD. I think this funk I've been in all week is finally over with~
Well, I wish I was happy about it. I'm content right now. I'm not as empty as I've felt in the past. I'm not happy, but I'm just content. But I feel like I've grown fifty times dumber and I feel like I've been losing what makes me interesting. I don't feel like myself and its not good. I feel like I'm slowly losing myself and it scares me.
If I'm growing into myself then I want to stop. I don't want to be this. I'm ordinary, I'm average, I blend in, I have nothing special to say. I used to be a crinkled mess and now I'm just a straight pain white piece of paper. I used to have so much to say, I used to have so much in my mind. Its just all fading...
As much as I hated having that emptiness in my heart, it was something that fueled me and my personality. I'm drowning in this new me, the old interesting person is dying. I feel dumb and worthless.
I want to be sad, I miss it so much that I'm crying. I don't want the beauty in me die. I don't want to lose myself.
I just want to be sad again.
WATCH OUT WORLD. I think this funk I've been in all week is finally over with~
Well, I wish I was happy about it. I'm content right now. I'm not as empty as I've felt in the past. I'm not happy, but I'm just content. But I feel like I've grown fifty times dumber and I feel like I've been losing what makes me interesting. I don't feel like myself and its not good. I feel like I'm slowly losing myself and it scares me.
If I'm growing into myself then I want to stop. I don't want to be this. I'm ordinary, I'm average, I blend in, I have nothing special to say. I used to be a crinkled mess and now I'm just a straight pain white piece of paper. I used to have so much to say, I used to have so much in my mind. Its just all fading...
As much as I hated having that emptiness in my heart, it was something that fueled me and my personality. I'm drowning in this new me, the old interesting person is dying. I feel dumb and worthless.
I want to be sad, I miss it so much that I'm crying. I don't want the beauty in me die. I don't want to lose myself.
I just want to be sad again.