(no subject)
:::::WARNING:::::: the following thoughts are in no order and are VERY incomplete
why is it that looking back at all the sweet things you said to me makes me so angry?
it's funny how you can close your eyes for so long and just hope that when you open them again it'll all be ok.
Guess what, it never is.
But you know what?
fuck
it's not my problem
it's not my problem anymore
How comforting is it that I'll never have to walk on eggshells again like that? How nice is it to know I don't have to spend my nights worried that you're out surprising me again. And by the way. I was never over that. No one ever just gets over that. Ever.
And don't think I didn't notice how you were acting that last time.
How is that supposed to make me feel when you wont give me the time of day until we're all going to sleep.
I felt like shit.
but not now.
I feel wonderful.
I've never felt so good.
I laugh to myself about how good it feels when I'm driving home.
I see my friends.
I love my family.
I have never felt this much love for my mother, ever in my life.
I'm not so anxious to leave anymore.
I love it where I am.
I love who I am
I am a fantastic person who only deserves the best for my best
I love every breath I take
I love every hair on my head
I love everyone around me
I love painting flowers on the wall, and who cares if the one row is slanted?
I love every song I hear
I love every disgusting in-n-out french fry I eat
and I was in love
for a time
I don't regret it, I just regret not letting myself see what was happening before it did
but I'm not mad at myself.
I'm not mad period
I may seem bitter at first, but what can you expect
I'm imperfect and I love it
and I love having the rest of my life and not knowing what's comming
everything is wonderful
And don't think for a second I've cried over this shit
There is not one single thing in the world I can't take on right now
P.s. I'm loosing my stress weight and it's great