let's stop wasting time! ;
Let me begin by saying I had low expectations. Going into it, I feared losing even more respect for them--to the point where I couldn't quite figure out why I was even going, why I would do that to myself, and to them. Trainwreck. That's the word I used to describe my expectations beforehand. The kind of disaster you just can't look away from, try as you might.
Let me begin again, by saying my expectations were shattered. And, thankfully for everyone involved, they were shattered in a good way.
As the lights went down, and we were finally in, finally sitting there, Carrie and I feared we would laugh at all the wrong parts, giggle effervescently when we were supposed to be somber, feeling awful for this band and all the awful they've gone through.
Today, I realize, that is because I expected more of the same. More of what I've been hearing from this band and their people lately. The disingenuous marketing campaign to paint them in the blood of all their indie passion. The kind of thing that squicks me, makes me feel like I'm being sold to, instead of entertained. I was afraid this was going to be about marketing Hanson, not about telling a compelling story.
It seems, the last edit was a big one. An important one. One that took it from self-indulgent, self-pitying, vapidly dramatic, to honest and inquisitive and _______. That last edit saved the documentary from itself. From the big ideas that would have made it awful.
I expected it to be a long format campaign in which Hanson was made into a symbol. A symbol for all that is wrong with the business of music and all that is right with the artistry of music. A symbol for bleeding indie artistic passion, who had been crucified by the big bad Roman soldiers at UMG. That would have been really painful to watch. Because they're not the symbol, and they weren't crucified. They are a story. One of many in a compilation.
And in the end, that's what the documentary became. That's what I saw. A story. They weren't trying to be or do anything else. They were just saying 'Hey, here's what happened to us and we think people should know.' They were just saying 'Hey, here's our story, what do you think?'
I don't know that it will ever make a big mark. At the end of the movie, despite all of the good things I felt...I felt kind of like "Uhm. So, what's next?" There was a question mark, at the end. I felt as though I had read a really good paper that didn't have a solid conclusion, that didn't bring everything back to the thesis.
And that's okay for me. As a fan, I'm interested in them and in what they do. In how they do it. This was an incredible peek into their lives, their business, their art, their relationship. To me, it was in many places, compelling. But I don't know that it will ever be able to reach across the aisle and get those non-fans, interest the people who haven't been interested in Hanson at any point in the past 8 years. I don't know that it has the right sculpting to make it poignant to anyone who doesn't already believe Hanson to be poignant.
That said, there were some really stand out things. You really see the behemoth that is Hanson here. Their singlemindedness. Their solidarity. They stand up to some of the industry's best, and they hold their ground (even, sometimes, when they're wrong). Unlike other bands, where there are divides, where the producer can always get someone on his side, find some way to twist the band's wrists to make them follow...you cannot do that to Hanson. You cannot make them separate. This is good for them. Great for them, even, sometimes. It is dangerous for them at others.
Isaac comes off as whiny, dramatic, stolid in his emotional responses to things, not often interested in rationality. Zac comes off as a bit aloof, intensely commited to his gut response to life and music, but often sitting on the sideline and letting the other two control things. Taylor, well, to steal Laura's phrase...Taylor comes off smelling like Roses. Like you'd believe his shit doesn't stink after this film.
He is incredibly diplomatic. He understands business in a very innate way. He can listen to 20 minutes of corporate bullshit and cut straight through it, to hear the real point, which has been danced around for hours. He provides a balance for the band, mediating between Isaac and Zac's more emotional standpoints and the cooler business side, and the equally dramatic producers who want their way as well. Taylor is a middle child, through and through. But he's an articulate, poised, intelligent one. He knows how to not shout at people, how to not say the one nasty backhanded thing he shouldn't say (even though he wants to). He is apart from that band, in many ways. He is the reason they maintain success. But he is also very deeply entwined in that band. He may have very, very different methods from his brothers, but he will never abandon them. Never leave them out to dry, as much as I think some other people in the industry might wish he would, or could. That thought will never even cross his mind. It's not just that he's committed to them. It's that they are a part of him, so much so, that he cannot, does not see himself working there without them. It is what keeps them together, his mediating influence, and his positively blind involvement.
The most compelling scene in the entire film comes early. A conversation outside what I imagine is a studio somewhere. The three of them holding up a cell phone and having a conference call with Jeff Fenster. It is so real, so honest, so unabashed. Someone held a camera, and without trying to do anything interesting, just watched. Taylor is eloquent, no matter how frustrated he is. No matter how much bullshit he sees staring him in the face. He sounds bright and insightful, well spoken. Isaac and Zac shout something inapropriate and mostly irrelevant about 'This Time Around' and storm around in angry circles. That call, like so many others in that period of their lives, gets them nowhere. It ends with no real ending.
Later, probably in another scene, Taylor flips a silent finger at the phone. A way of venting his anger without it being out in the universe in a way that could come back to haunt him. Isaac and Zac shout, they say inapropriate and even immature things. Venting their anger effectively at the time, but setting themselves up for trouble later. And this is the difference between them all, displayed effectively, for us to see.
I learned a lot about them, and about their story in this. Much of it was, honestly, as I expected. I agreed with Jeff Fenster on a great many things. Very often, he was right. He said things about songs, like 'Dancing in the Wind' and 'Underneath' that I felt were completely spot on. And I kind of had a feeling that I would agree with Jeff Fenster. Jeff Fenster is a very good business man. Sometimes his instincts on music are off, but he understands business. Sometimes I wish Hanson had listened to him.
But here's the essential thing. Hanson and Jeff Fenster had a bad working relationship. They came to a point, just as I do in arguements with my father, where neither side was listening. Where they were just standing there, face to face, screaming their point-of-view at each other, always trying to be the louder side. There was no longer an exchange. At a certain point, Jeff was just saying the same things over and over because he thought that was how to get through to them. And at that same point, Hanson was doing the same thing. There was no longer a flow of ideas between two parties, moving towards understanding and improvement or agreement. They could not make the other see. But they refused to stop trying. To stop shouting.
Hanson was not innocent of the problems they had on that label. They had their feathers raised as much as Jeff Fenster did. They refused to budge, refused to listen when they should have, just like he did. They were not saints. And I'm glad they showed that. I'm glad they didn't make themselves look like martyrs.
At the end, I was tempted to ask that. To ask if, looking back on it all years later, they saw their own mistakes as well.
It's not that I think they did something wrong by breaking away. On the contrary, this movie has proved to me that off the major labels was the only way this band could ever go. They are too much a unit, too much in their own circle of creativity, too unique. They cannot work with someone who is forcing them to do things, because they shut down. They need to be their own bosses. They need to seek out people who can help coax them into being better businessmen, instead of SHOVING business down their throat (I think, they have yet to find that person). They need someone who can say 'no' in such a gentle, real, genuine way that they listen, instead of raising their feathers and helping brick walls between them and reality. When they find that person, they will REALLY take off with this label, this age of their career. I hope they find that person. Or, those people.
But the thing is, they need to work on their own. They are not equipped to work with people who are equally indignant and who do not see their vision, or cannot, or chose not to. So, going independent, starting their own label was the only way for them. It was the right decision. Even if they had made it work with Fenster on Underneath, eventually, this would have had to happen.
But, in the end, they are not innocent of the situation. They were not simply put upon. They were more than just bit parts in the drama that unfolded on IDJ. They helped to create the situation. And I wonder if they recognize that now (I hope they do).
*
The film runs too long in parts. At a certain point I was like "Okay, we get it! Jeff Fenster is the bad guy here! He tortured you! Enough!" They get to this one scene, when they are trying to break from the label and Jeff is dragging his heels. And a lawyer says "This is just Jeff Fenster being a douche bag." They should have gotten to that moment faster.
The film is dragged down, too, by Ashley. The worst parts, like the first 8 minutes, are over-dramatic and over-wrought, painful to watch. And that is where you see the hand of the director. The rest, the good stuff, the best stuff...it's all real, raw, no time for fancy camera work or stupid symbolism. Still, again, always, I wish they would walk away from Ashley, I don't think he's good for them.
The score is awful too. Afterwards I thought (and said) 'You know, I could have played that music on the keys of my cellphone.' And in case you were wondering, that's not a good thing. I think music is very important to a film, especially today, and especially in a film about music...I think they had an opportunity there that they missed.
Ultimately, it is not a good film. Not something that will see commmercial and cultural success.
But it restored my faith in that band. It made me feel good about them again. I felt kind of disappointed that I didn't love the doc more, that I didn't think it was a good film. I did want to see that. But I guess that's okay. Because more important than Hanson's impact on the world, is Hanson's impact on my life. They are important to me. And I was beginning to feel their loss, their slow separation from my life. And the thought made me sad. But after that screening, I feel connected to them again, impressed by them again.
That says something. Being able to think they're wrong about a lot of things. But still being impressed by them in the end.
*
The q&a afterwards was impressive. I wish there had been more people in there who were foreign to Hanson. More total non-fans. Because they would have seen it. They would have gotten it. These are bright, well-spoken, engaging young men. They are interesting. They are worthy of your attention, and they are willing to work to earn it.
Isaac was his old self (which was so good to see). Rambling, following tangents down the rabbit-hole, making dorky jokes. Zac was less silent than he used to be, older, well spoken. He is a middle ground between Taylor and Isaac on the social interaction scale. He is smart and well spoken and passionate, but he can more easily be goofy and doofy, like Isaac, and he too can get distracted by tangets. Taylor is more together. More clear, and often more concise.
They all listen incredibly well. When someone was speaking, they all turned in their chairs (bodies and all) to face that person. To look them in the eye while they were talking. It was impressive to see. In their position, it would be all too easy for them not to do that.
I asked a question. Pretty early on in the q&a I knew I would be able to. I was sitting centered in the audience, in Isaac's line of sight wearing turquoise, with my red hair down. I raised my hand at one point, and I saw Isaac latch onto me, at that point, Taylor chose someone else. But I knew Isaac had noticed, Zac too. Later, Isaac closed his eyes and waved his arm around, like you see in movies and TV when someone is deciding to go on vacation and they close their eyes and swirl their finger around over a map to find a surprise destination when they open their eyes & see where their finger landed. Isaac was just going to pick whoever his finger had landed on in the crowd. I knew then, that it would be me. Because a crowd at a distance is not the same as a map you can touch. It can't be that random. Because he was going to have to pick someone who he could remember with his eyes closed, just pointing into space wouldn't find someone necessarily. With your eyes closed, facing a crowd, who do you remember? The redhead. (This is, by the way, the story of my life--I am a beacon in the crowd for friends and parents and strangers alike, sometimes for good and sometimes for the worse.)
"Do you think that the music industry can be rehabilitated from the inside--that creative people who understand the business can be found? Or do you think it has to be done this way, your way? Do you think people have to break away to make the change?"
I think it was Isaac who answered first, although it might have been Zac (much of it is a blur this morning). The first answer latched onto the 'creative people who understand business' aside. It almost answered the question, and it was interesting to hear, but it was a bit of a tangent.
Taylor looked at me and said, "No, but I think what she was asking is whether or not the business can be changed from the inside." "Yes, definitely," I said. And he answered me. He looked me in the eye and spoke articulately, and although he said he sees change coming to the inside eventually, he said in the end that he thinks breaking away is the answer.
I appreciated that a great deal. The first answer could have been left alone. It was technically enough. They could have picked someone else--another question--to answer and moved on. But Taylor understood that my question had not been answered fully, and he respected the question enough, respected my voice enough, to take it seriously. To give an earnest, full answer. That meant a lot. That said a lot about him, about them as a band and as a family of people. They were raised very well, and never is that more evident than in a situation like that.
Afterwards we went to Dojo and had plates full of good cheap food and talked about it over and over, Laura, Carrie and I. It was interesting to have our three different perspectives there. Much like the three different perspectives in Hanson. All so closely tied together, and yet, fundamentally different. I gather that Carrie liked it less than I did, and Laura liked it more than both of us. I was, strangely enough, in the middle. It wasn't quite what I wanted it to be. But I left feeling good about Hanson, and that was, at least, a good beginning.
(10.28.05)
ps. here's a small aside. i just won meet&greets for the patchogue show. holy shit. x infinity.
Let me begin again, by saying my expectations were shattered. And, thankfully for everyone involved, they were shattered in a good way.
As the lights went down, and we were finally in, finally sitting there, Carrie and I feared we would laugh at all the wrong parts, giggle effervescently when we were supposed to be somber, feeling awful for this band and all the awful they've gone through.
Today, I realize, that is because I expected more of the same. More of what I've been hearing from this band and their people lately. The disingenuous marketing campaign to paint them in the blood of all their indie passion. The kind of thing that squicks me, makes me feel like I'm being sold to, instead of entertained. I was afraid this was going to be about marketing Hanson, not about telling a compelling story.
It seems, the last edit was a big one. An important one. One that took it from self-indulgent, self-pitying, vapidly dramatic, to honest and inquisitive and _______. That last edit saved the documentary from itself. From the big ideas that would have made it awful.
I expected it to be a long format campaign in which Hanson was made into a symbol. A symbol for all that is wrong with the business of music and all that is right with the artistry of music. A symbol for bleeding indie artistic passion, who had been crucified by the big bad Roman soldiers at UMG. That would have been really painful to watch. Because they're not the symbol, and they weren't crucified. They are a story. One of many in a compilation.
And in the end, that's what the documentary became. That's what I saw. A story. They weren't trying to be or do anything else. They were just saying 'Hey, here's what happened to us and we think people should know.' They were just saying 'Hey, here's our story, what do you think?'
I don't know that it will ever make a big mark. At the end of the movie, despite all of the good things I felt...I felt kind of like "Uhm. So, what's next?" There was a question mark, at the end. I felt as though I had read a really good paper that didn't have a solid conclusion, that didn't bring everything back to the thesis.
And that's okay for me. As a fan, I'm interested in them and in what they do. In how they do it. This was an incredible peek into their lives, their business, their art, their relationship. To me, it was in many places, compelling. But I don't know that it will ever be able to reach across the aisle and get those non-fans, interest the people who haven't been interested in Hanson at any point in the past 8 years. I don't know that it has the right sculpting to make it poignant to anyone who doesn't already believe Hanson to be poignant.
That said, there were some really stand out things. You really see the behemoth that is Hanson here. Their singlemindedness. Their solidarity. They stand up to some of the industry's best, and they hold their ground (even, sometimes, when they're wrong). Unlike other bands, where there are divides, where the producer can always get someone on his side, find some way to twist the band's wrists to make them follow...you cannot do that to Hanson. You cannot make them separate. This is good for them. Great for them, even, sometimes. It is dangerous for them at others.
Isaac comes off as whiny, dramatic, stolid in his emotional responses to things, not often interested in rationality. Zac comes off as a bit aloof, intensely commited to his gut response to life and music, but often sitting on the sideline and letting the other two control things. Taylor, well, to steal Laura's phrase...Taylor comes off smelling like Roses. Like you'd believe his shit doesn't stink after this film.
He is incredibly diplomatic. He understands business in a very innate way. He can listen to 20 minutes of corporate bullshit and cut straight through it, to hear the real point, which has been danced around for hours. He provides a balance for the band, mediating between Isaac and Zac's more emotional standpoints and the cooler business side, and the equally dramatic producers who want their way as well. Taylor is a middle child, through and through. But he's an articulate, poised, intelligent one. He knows how to not shout at people, how to not say the one nasty backhanded thing he shouldn't say (even though he wants to). He is apart from that band, in many ways. He is the reason they maintain success. But he is also very deeply entwined in that band. He may have very, very different methods from his brothers, but he will never abandon them. Never leave them out to dry, as much as I think some other people in the industry might wish he would, or could. That thought will never even cross his mind. It's not just that he's committed to them. It's that they are a part of him, so much so, that he cannot, does not see himself working there without them. It is what keeps them together, his mediating influence, and his positively blind involvement.
The most compelling scene in the entire film comes early. A conversation outside what I imagine is a studio somewhere. The three of them holding up a cell phone and having a conference call with Jeff Fenster. It is so real, so honest, so unabashed. Someone held a camera, and without trying to do anything interesting, just watched. Taylor is eloquent, no matter how frustrated he is. No matter how much bullshit he sees staring him in the face. He sounds bright and insightful, well spoken. Isaac and Zac shout something inapropriate and mostly irrelevant about 'This Time Around' and storm around in angry circles. That call, like so many others in that period of their lives, gets them nowhere. It ends with no real ending.
Later, probably in another scene, Taylor flips a silent finger at the phone. A way of venting his anger without it being out in the universe in a way that could come back to haunt him. Isaac and Zac shout, they say inapropriate and even immature things. Venting their anger effectively at the time, but setting themselves up for trouble later. And this is the difference between them all, displayed effectively, for us to see.
I learned a lot about them, and about their story in this. Much of it was, honestly, as I expected. I agreed with Jeff Fenster on a great many things. Very often, he was right. He said things about songs, like 'Dancing in the Wind' and 'Underneath' that I felt were completely spot on. And I kind of had a feeling that I would agree with Jeff Fenster. Jeff Fenster is a very good business man. Sometimes his instincts on music are off, but he understands business. Sometimes I wish Hanson had listened to him.
But here's the essential thing. Hanson and Jeff Fenster had a bad working relationship. They came to a point, just as I do in arguements with my father, where neither side was listening. Where they were just standing there, face to face, screaming their point-of-view at each other, always trying to be the louder side. There was no longer an exchange. At a certain point, Jeff was just saying the same things over and over because he thought that was how to get through to them. And at that same point, Hanson was doing the same thing. There was no longer a flow of ideas between two parties, moving towards understanding and improvement or agreement. They could not make the other see. But they refused to stop trying. To stop shouting.
Hanson was not innocent of the problems they had on that label. They had their feathers raised as much as Jeff Fenster did. They refused to budge, refused to listen when they should have, just like he did. They were not saints. And I'm glad they showed that. I'm glad they didn't make themselves look like martyrs.
At the end, I was tempted to ask that. To ask if, looking back on it all years later, they saw their own mistakes as well.
It's not that I think they did something wrong by breaking away. On the contrary, this movie has proved to me that off the major labels was the only way this band could ever go. They are too much a unit, too much in their own circle of creativity, too unique. They cannot work with someone who is forcing them to do things, because they shut down. They need to be their own bosses. They need to seek out people who can help coax them into being better businessmen, instead of SHOVING business down their throat (I think, they have yet to find that person). They need someone who can say 'no' in such a gentle, real, genuine way that they listen, instead of raising their feathers and helping brick walls between them and reality. When they find that person, they will REALLY take off with this label, this age of their career. I hope they find that person. Or, those people.
But the thing is, they need to work on their own. They are not equipped to work with people who are equally indignant and who do not see their vision, or cannot, or chose not to. So, going independent, starting their own label was the only way for them. It was the right decision. Even if they had made it work with Fenster on Underneath, eventually, this would have had to happen.
But, in the end, they are not innocent of the situation. They were not simply put upon. They were more than just bit parts in the drama that unfolded on IDJ. They helped to create the situation. And I wonder if they recognize that now (I hope they do).
*
The film runs too long in parts. At a certain point I was like "Okay, we get it! Jeff Fenster is the bad guy here! He tortured you! Enough!" They get to this one scene, when they are trying to break from the label and Jeff is dragging his heels. And a lawyer says "This is just Jeff Fenster being a douche bag." They should have gotten to that moment faster.
The film is dragged down, too, by Ashley. The worst parts, like the first 8 minutes, are over-dramatic and over-wrought, painful to watch. And that is where you see the hand of the director. The rest, the good stuff, the best stuff...it's all real, raw, no time for fancy camera work or stupid symbolism. Still, again, always, I wish they would walk away from Ashley, I don't think he's good for them.
The score is awful too. Afterwards I thought (and said) 'You know, I could have played that music on the keys of my cellphone.' And in case you were wondering, that's not a good thing. I think music is very important to a film, especially today, and especially in a film about music...I think they had an opportunity there that they missed.
Ultimately, it is not a good film. Not something that will see commmercial and cultural success.
But it restored my faith in that band. It made me feel good about them again. I felt kind of disappointed that I didn't love the doc more, that I didn't think it was a good film. I did want to see that. But I guess that's okay. Because more important than Hanson's impact on the world, is Hanson's impact on my life. They are important to me. And I was beginning to feel their loss, their slow separation from my life. And the thought made me sad. But after that screening, I feel connected to them again, impressed by them again.
That says something. Being able to think they're wrong about a lot of things. But still being impressed by them in the end.
*
The q&a afterwards was impressive. I wish there had been more people in there who were foreign to Hanson. More total non-fans. Because they would have seen it. They would have gotten it. These are bright, well-spoken, engaging young men. They are interesting. They are worthy of your attention, and they are willing to work to earn it.
Isaac was his old self (which was so good to see). Rambling, following tangents down the rabbit-hole, making dorky jokes. Zac was less silent than he used to be, older, well spoken. He is a middle ground between Taylor and Isaac on the social interaction scale. He is smart and well spoken and passionate, but he can more easily be goofy and doofy, like Isaac, and he too can get distracted by tangets. Taylor is more together. More clear, and often more concise.
They all listen incredibly well. When someone was speaking, they all turned in their chairs (bodies and all) to face that person. To look them in the eye while they were talking. It was impressive to see. In their position, it would be all too easy for them not to do that.
I asked a question. Pretty early on in the q&a I knew I would be able to. I was sitting centered in the audience, in Isaac's line of sight wearing turquoise, with my red hair down. I raised my hand at one point, and I saw Isaac latch onto me, at that point, Taylor chose someone else. But I knew Isaac had noticed, Zac too. Later, Isaac closed his eyes and waved his arm around, like you see in movies and TV when someone is deciding to go on vacation and they close their eyes and swirl their finger around over a map to find a surprise destination when they open their eyes & see where their finger landed. Isaac was just going to pick whoever his finger had landed on in the crowd. I knew then, that it would be me. Because a crowd at a distance is not the same as a map you can touch. It can't be that random. Because he was going to have to pick someone who he could remember with his eyes closed, just pointing into space wouldn't find someone necessarily. With your eyes closed, facing a crowd, who do you remember? The redhead. (This is, by the way, the story of my life--I am a beacon in the crowd for friends and parents and strangers alike, sometimes for good and sometimes for the worse.)
"Do you think that the music industry can be rehabilitated from the inside--that creative people who understand the business can be found? Or do you think it has to be done this way, your way? Do you think people have to break away to make the change?"
I think it was Isaac who answered first, although it might have been Zac (much of it is a blur this morning). The first answer latched onto the 'creative people who understand business' aside. It almost answered the question, and it was interesting to hear, but it was a bit of a tangent.
Taylor looked at me and said, "No, but I think what she was asking is whether or not the business can be changed from the inside." "Yes, definitely," I said. And he answered me. He looked me in the eye and spoke articulately, and although he said he sees change coming to the inside eventually, he said in the end that he thinks breaking away is the answer.
I appreciated that a great deal. The first answer could have been left alone. It was technically enough. They could have picked someone else--another question--to answer and moved on. But Taylor understood that my question had not been answered fully, and he respected the question enough, respected my voice enough, to take it seriously. To give an earnest, full answer. That meant a lot. That said a lot about him, about them as a band and as a family of people. They were raised very well, and never is that more evident than in a situation like that.
Afterwards we went to Dojo and had plates full of good cheap food and talked about it over and over, Laura, Carrie and I. It was interesting to have our three different perspectives there. Much like the three different perspectives in Hanson. All so closely tied together, and yet, fundamentally different. I gather that Carrie liked it less than I did, and Laura liked it more than both of us. I was, strangely enough, in the middle. It wasn't quite what I wanted it to be. But I left feeling good about Hanson, and that was, at least, a good beginning.
(10.28.05)
ps. here's a small aside. i just won meet&greets for the patchogue show. holy shit. x infinity.