Notes.
It's so hard for me to give up on school or slack off. I can procrastinate until 1:30 in the morning if need be, but by God, those art history notes or lit journals are always done when I walk into school, or done enough for me to do well on any quizzes. I'm trying to let this go, now.
As of right now, 5:48 on Sunday evening, I haven't done my Roman Art notes, I haven't done my three lit journals, I haven't studied for my (already postponed) math test. I haven't started my art concentration piece, I haven't done my Congressman For a Day sheet. Instead, I am opting for lamb xaccuti, chicken tikka masala, garlic naan, dal makhani, and a mango lassi. And going to bed early.
I figure it is for the best, in the long-term. I had another panic attack last night, and I guess it's because I don't have any personal relaxation time, really, but it still doesn't seem like a reason. It's scary for the first minute or two when I hyperventilate and feel like I can't breathe - what I imagine an asthma attack would feel like. Then I get cold water and start breathing regularly, but I hate that this is still happening even when it shouldn't be. I don't feel like myself nowadays - I'm loud and brash sometimes, which I hate; droopy, nonplussed.
Christmas Break will be a good one. I am excited for Washington, D.C. as always - that piney tree that scrapes the ceiling, the spitting, warm fireplace, the group gathering, the meal, the wine samplings, the movie outing, and being with that branch of the family. It's my favorite part of the holiday.
As of right now, 5:48 on Sunday evening, I haven't done my Roman Art notes, I haven't done my three lit journals, I haven't studied for my (already postponed) math test. I haven't started my art concentration piece, I haven't done my Congressman For a Day sheet. Instead, I am opting for lamb xaccuti, chicken tikka masala, garlic naan, dal makhani, and a mango lassi. And going to bed early.
I figure it is for the best, in the long-term. I had another panic attack last night, and I guess it's because I don't have any personal relaxation time, really, but it still doesn't seem like a reason. It's scary for the first minute or two when I hyperventilate and feel like I can't breathe - what I imagine an asthma attack would feel like. Then I get cold water and start breathing regularly, but I hate that this is still happening even when it shouldn't be. I don't feel like myself nowadays - I'm loud and brash sometimes, which I hate; droopy, nonplussed.
Christmas Break will be a good one. I am excited for Washington, D.C. as always - that piney tree that scrapes the ceiling, the spitting, warm fireplace, the group gathering, the meal, the wine samplings, the movie outing, and being with that branch of the family. It's my favorite part of the holiday.