(no subject)
i could have potentially gone out with a nice attractive guy tonight but i freaked out at the last second because i realized i didn't really know him and i the thought of how awkward and stupid i might act terrified me so i canceled. i told him the truth, that i was nervous, scared, freaking out, etc...he said he understood and suggested maybe going out with a group of friends (what am i in fucking 8th grade?)sometimes i feel like i'm 30 but sometimes i feel like i'm 14, like i did tonight. duude will i ever just get over it?