long time no post
for people who might stumble on this who don't have my xanga and are crazy enough to read this, here is a bit of catch- up:
daniel and i are incredible, in fact i just got home from spending all day with him- starting with pancakes, then to the couch, his bedroom, the basement, and ending with hot cocoa and a marathon of the show "dead like me," which was excellent. on december fourth we'll have been together 5 months, and later this week i get to have my cervix poked at by a scary doctor with gloves so i can get birth control. weeeee!
i do need to keep myself in check though, during the school week it gets fairly unbearable, i hate school as it is but missing him just adds to it all-- let it gooo kirsten, a few days, weeks, months, that's all it is, one lifetime, that is all it is, nothing to worry about, no reason to get impatient.
so yeah, about school: my 10 page paper was due friday, and i have roughly 3 pages of it and i have no intention of working on it tonight, and my english teacher is not weak by any means. she gives so little of a shit about her students, it is disgusting. she cares about us as people, of course, but she couldn't care less about what we do with our time or assignments. anyway, i feel pretty damn good about spending a few days taking care of myself instead of stressing, at the cost of maybe screwing up my grades and no longer having something to wave in my mom's face when she feels like attacking me. good thing thanksgiving is -before- my IEP meeting *grin*
...today in particular, i had a feeling i was supposed to be with him today instead of anywhere else, which was confirmed on the ride home, in my mind. i had a wee bit of deja vu in the car, and was already feeling emotional-in-a-good-way ... thing, watching the streetlights pass and smiling while i replayed the day in my head, jazz on the radio and his warmth and smell around me. i mentioned it to him and commented on how everything i see in dreams that repeats itself in life is never anything useful, but if it was i'd have to do shit about it and who needs that responsibility? and he said that he gets a lot of deja vu at times in his life where there are internal milestones, nothing big to the outsiders but inside there's some transformation- there are just moments throughout your life that seem to transcend the trivial messes, the short-lived conflicts, and they mark something special. so i suppose what i see really is useful to me, i can pinpoint these moments and keep them close, and learn more from them than if i ignored them.
hmmm, artistically, things are good- several paintings going on, projects to be initiated, getting sick of being stuck with the same projects while i'd rather be doing something more spontaneous, but next semester i will hopefully be getting a special arts production class. *crosses fingers*
i am currently addicted to miso soup, BPAL oils, fuzzy things, sex, painting, calming music, hot tea- specifically, white tea, and books with florid language about beautiful women and unusual events.
i miss christian and josh.
i have mad cravings for lasagna and good dark chocolate. mmmmm
daniel and i are incredible, in fact i just got home from spending all day with him- starting with pancakes, then to the couch, his bedroom, the basement, and ending with hot cocoa and a marathon of the show "dead like me," which was excellent. on december fourth we'll have been together 5 months, and later this week i get to have my cervix poked at by a scary doctor with gloves so i can get birth control. weeeee!
i do need to keep myself in check though, during the school week it gets fairly unbearable, i hate school as it is but missing him just adds to it all-- let it gooo kirsten, a few days, weeks, months, that's all it is, one lifetime, that is all it is, nothing to worry about, no reason to get impatient.
so yeah, about school: my 10 page paper was due friday, and i have roughly 3 pages of it and i have no intention of working on it tonight, and my english teacher is not weak by any means. she gives so little of a shit about her students, it is disgusting. she cares about us as people, of course, but she couldn't care less about what we do with our time or assignments. anyway, i feel pretty damn good about spending a few days taking care of myself instead of stressing, at the cost of maybe screwing up my grades and no longer having something to wave in my mom's face when she feels like attacking me. good thing thanksgiving is -before- my IEP meeting *grin*
...today in particular, i had a feeling i was supposed to be with him today instead of anywhere else, which was confirmed on the ride home, in my mind. i had a wee bit of deja vu in the car, and was already feeling emotional-in-a-good-way ... thing, watching the streetlights pass and smiling while i replayed the day in my head, jazz on the radio and his warmth and smell around me. i mentioned it to him and commented on how everything i see in dreams that repeats itself in life is never anything useful, but if it was i'd have to do shit about it and who needs that responsibility? and he said that he gets a lot of deja vu at times in his life where there are internal milestones, nothing big to the outsiders but inside there's some transformation- there are just moments throughout your life that seem to transcend the trivial messes, the short-lived conflicts, and they mark something special. so i suppose what i see really is useful to me, i can pinpoint these moments and keep them close, and learn more from them than if i ignored them.
hmmm, artistically, things are good- several paintings going on, projects to be initiated, getting sick of being stuck with the same projects while i'd rather be doing something more spontaneous, but next semester i will hopefully be getting a special arts production class. *crosses fingers*
i am currently addicted to miso soup, BPAL oils, fuzzy things, sex, painting, calming music, hot tea- specifically, white tea, and books with florid language about beautiful women and unusual events.
i miss christian and josh.
i have mad cravings for lasagna and good dark chocolate. mmmmm