Day 3/26: Fears
It's rough. It reminds me when I left for the PI while I was dating my ex. So much had happened over that month; I changed, he changed, we hardly spoke to each other due to limited internet availability/phone minutes while I was there. I came home and that's when I knew he and I weren't meant to be.
I mean, I don't exactly feel that way with Dom. I mean, I'm sure he'll have changed and so have I... but we've definitely got more ways to communicate. And I'll be picking him up from the airport and spending as much time with him as possible. That's the thing I didn't have last time since it was a long-distance relationship already... he couldn't just be here.
Ugh last night, this surge of jealousy exploded in my veins. For whatever reasons, I assumed there weren't too much co-ed activities, but yeah... I learned quickly the only thing that was separate are the sleeping areas. Don't get me wrong, I trust him. 26 days is the longest we've been away from each other. And we won't be able to talk every night. He's going to be making new friends and coming home with that.
All I can do is pray for strength and trust God, no matter what happens. I'm not even saying Dom will do anything stupid like that, but I'm just preparing for the worst. 26 days-all day- with someone is a very long time. But I have to trust that our love can prevail all things and temptations.
I think I'm just more jealous that they're with him, any of them, than with me. They have no idea how amazing this man is. He needs to come home soon.
Praying definitely helps when my mind gets like this. It provides a calm and reassurance, giving me a peace of mind. I also figured that the new officer induction (Feb 16) came at exactly the right time. Last night, we had our transitional officers meeting and hopefully that can keep me busy and help the month pass by a lot quicker.
"They say an idle mind is the devil's playground."
Just need to keep this in mind and not wander far from the truth. I've been trying to fill my days playing catch-up with friends I don't always get to see, so that always helps. It's hard when people bring him up, though. I never know if it's going to send me into waterworks or if I can hide behind my smile. We've been apart for a few days, but I can really feel the distance between us this time. I know it's no walk in the park for him, but he's so busy he probably doesn't even have time to think about me much. Just need to be strong and support him.
I mean, I don't exactly feel that way with Dom. I mean, I'm sure he'll have changed and so have I... but we've definitely got more ways to communicate. And I'll be picking him up from the airport and spending as much time with him as possible. That's the thing I didn't have last time since it was a long-distance relationship already... he couldn't just be here.
Ugh last night, this surge of jealousy exploded in my veins. For whatever reasons, I assumed there weren't too much co-ed activities, but yeah... I learned quickly the only thing that was separate are the sleeping areas. Don't get me wrong, I trust him. 26 days is the longest we've been away from each other. And we won't be able to talk every night. He's going to be making new friends and coming home with that.
All I can do is pray for strength and trust God, no matter what happens. I'm not even saying Dom will do anything stupid like that, but I'm just preparing for the worst. 26 days-all day- with someone is a very long time. But I have to trust that our love can prevail all things and temptations.
I think I'm just more jealous that they're with him, any of them, than with me. They have no idea how amazing this man is. He needs to come home soon.
Praying definitely helps when my mind gets like this. It provides a calm and reassurance, giving me a peace of mind. I also figured that the new officer induction (Feb 16) came at exactly the right time. Last night, we had our transitional officers meeting and hopefully that can keep me busy and help the month pass by a lot quicker.
"They say an idle mind is the devil's playground."
Just need to keep this in mind and not wander far from the truth. I've been trying to fill my days playing catch-up with friends I don't always get to see, so that always helps. It's hard when people bring him up, though. I never know if it's going to send me into waterworks or if I can hide behind my smile. We've been apart for a few days, but I can really feel the distance between us this time. I know it's no walk in the park for him, but he's so busy he probably doesn't even have time to think about me much. Just need to be strong and support him.