I love you. Foreal.
Well, after 1 year, 2 weeks, and 2 days he finally said it. He finally said he loves me (Aug. 6).
I was on the way to his house after returning stuff at the mall. Al had called me wondering if he could third wheel us until Vicky got out of work. I said sure and to call Dom. Then Dom called me and it sounded like he was yelling at me. I felt like such a kid. He's like, "Well are you serious about this exam or not?" and stuff like that. Ugh I was so mad and sad about it. When I actually got to his house, I avoided giving him a "proper hello" (where we hug and kiss and say hello). Then he said he was sorry for yelling and I just blah. I got all my study stuff prepared and put my headphones on. Then he tapped me and said, "I didn't get a proper hello". So I stood up and gave him one. Then I started crying at some point because I'm just really down and depressed about the exam. I hold myself together as much as I can sometimes and when he brings shit up like, "are you serious about this exam or not?" kind of thing, it just reminds me again that I'm still studying for it. That graduating didn't really mean anything. That I just spent my entire summer caught up in books. That I got demoted to a nurse aid. That I have to take this damn exam all over again. It's just depressing.
Anyways, I told him how I just feel stupid and that I'm not retaining anything. I told him how I felt like such a failure and it's not his fault. It has nothing to do with him. It's all me. I suck. Foreal this time. So then he comforted me, gave me amazing words that I needed to hear, as usual. He's gotten really great and amazing at picking me up and comforting me through the hard times.
He then suggested, "maybe you need to eat". He always suggests that when I'm still down after his great speeches and comfort words. It usually is the thing I need to bring me back above the surface after drowning in my negativity.
We prepared dinner in front of the laptop so we could watch Walking Dead. Then, before we started eating and watching, he said.... "I know what it is... I love you. You don't have to worry about us or me or anything. Just know that I love you. That means forever."
N: "Is it because I threatened to kill you after church if you ever stopped being my best bud?"
D: "That would make a lot of sense, but no. That's not my reason."
Gosh did I cry and was I just ... speechless.
Then he said it again. Then I asked, "how long have you known?" and he's like "I've always known, I just didn't feel like it was the right time".
Then he hugged me and he's like, "something something something, even though you didn't say it back".
I didn't even realize I didn't say it back... I think I was just so shocked. It was completely unexpected. I had felt it for a while and I could feel he felt it, too.
He also said at some point that he feels "we're at our best we've ever been". Which is great considering I really feel at my worst. I suppose, if he can love me through my worst, he can really love me through my best.
He didn't wait for a special moment. He didn't do it over a candlelit dinner. He did it in such a simple, unexpected way. He did it at a time when he felt I really needed to hear it the most. And he left me speechless. Loved. And happy. Really happy. The happiest I've felt all summer.
I honestly thought he was going to wait for our 4 year anniversary in October. I also thought if he didn't say it anytime soon, he was going to wait to propose to say it which probably wouldn't be for a lot longer. And then there was that thought that told me he's just not ever going to say it or feel it again.
But he did.
Thank God, he did.
I've tried to be patient as much as I could. There were times I really doubted it would ever happen (for real). I myself went crazy wondering if this was all worth it.
It's been 1 year, 2 weeks, and 2 days since we got back together last year. 1 year, 2 weeks, and 2 days since I've been waiting to hear him say those three words. For real.
It was definitely worth the wait.
I told him he can't say it too much. He said that he'll just say it when he feels like I need to hear it. I don't want it to become routine. I want it to be sentence-stopping. I want it to make the other person pause. I want it to make the other person blush. I want it to be a surprise, a gift, each time.
He chose me when I've chosen him all along. He finally made his choice. It's just me and him. Him and me. And that's that. Wow.
I was on the way to his house after returning stuff at the mall. Al had called me wondering if he could third wheel us until Vicky got out of work. I said sure and to call Dom. Then Dom called me and it sounded like he was yelling at me. I felt like such a kid. He's like, "Well are you serious about this exam or not?" and stuff like that. Ugh I was so mad and sad about it. When I actually got to his house, I avoided giving him a "proper hello" (where we hug and kiss and say hello). Then he said he was sorry for yelling and I just blah. I got all my study stuff prepared and put my headphones on. Then he tapped me and said, "I didn't get a proper hello". So I stood up and gave him one. Then I started crying at some point because I'm just really down and depressed about the exam. I hold myself together as much as I can sometimes and when he brings shit up like, "are you serious about this exam or not?" kind of thing, it just reminds me again that I'm still studying for it. That graduating didn't really mean anything. That I just spent my entire summer caught up in books. That I got demoted to a nurse aid. That I have to take this damn exam all over again. It's just depressing.
Anyways, I told him how I just feel stupid and that I'm not retaining anything. I told him how I felt like such a failure and it's not his fault. It has nothing to do with him. It's all me. I suck. Foreal this time. So then he comforted me, gave me amazing words that I needed to hear, as usual. He's gotten really great and amazing at picking me up and comforting me through the hard times.
He then suggested, "maybe you need to eat". He always suggests that when I'm still down after his great speeches and comfort words. It usually is the thing I need to bring me back above the surface after drowning in my negativity.
We prepared dinner in front of the laptop so we could watch Walking Dead. Then, before we started eating and watching, he said.... "I know what it is... I love you. You don't have to worry about us or me or anything. Just know that I love you. That means forever."
N: "Is it because I threatened to kill you after church if you ever stopped being my best bud?"
D: "That would make a lot of sense, but no. That's not my reason."
Gosh did I cry and was I just ... speechless.
Then he said it again. Then I asked, "how long have you known?" and he's like "I've always known, I just didn't feel like it was the right time".
Then he hugged me and he's like, "something something something, even though you didn't say it back".
I didn't even realize I didn't say it back... I think I was just so shocked. It was completely unexpected. I had felt it for a while and I could feel he felt it, too.
He also said at some point that he feels "we're at our best we've ever been". Which is great considering I really feel at my worst. I suppose, if he can love me through my worst, he can really love me through my best.
He didn't wait for a special moment. He didn't do it over a candlelit dinner. He did it in such a simple, unexpected way. He did it at a time when he felt I really needed to hear it the most. And he left me speechless. Loved. And happy. Really happy. The happiest I've felt all summer.
I honestly thought he was going to wait for our 4 year anniversary in October. I also thought if he didn't say it anytime soon, he was going to wait to propose to say it which probably wouldn't be for a lot longer. And then there was that thought that told me he's just not ever going to say it or feel it again.
But he did.
Thank God, he did.
I've tried to be patient as much as I could. There were times I really doubted it would ever happen (for real). I myself went crazy wondering if this was all worth it.
It's been 1 year, 2 weeks, and 2 days since we got back together last year. 1 year, 2 weeks, and 2 days since I've been waiting to hear him say those three words. For real.
It was definitely worth the wait.
I told him he can't say it too much. He said that he'll just say it when he feels like I need to hear it. I don't want it to become routine. I want it to be sentence-stopping. I want it to make the other person pause. I want it to make the other person blush. I want it to be a surprise, a gift, each time.
He chose me when I've chosen him all along. He finally made his choice. It's just me and him. Him and me. And that's that. Wow.