being superficial
I've spent over three hours grooming myself, and I'm still not done. Shave legs (20 min), go running(1 hour), pluck eyebrows(10 minutes), brush teeth(5 minutes), shave armpits(2 minutes), wash/dry/flat iron hair(1 hour), scrub/exfoliate skin, including face making skin smooth and oil-free(30 minutes), oh, and let's not forget grooming the vagina. (oh don't get me started)
This is just so much to do all the time, and I really feel like I'm being forced into this habit of looking pretty. Or am I just growing up and changing, yet again.. blah.. I keep excercising and stressing out over my appearance and for what? Why do I have to keep putting myself through all this hard work? A young lady came into starbucks and her face was so bright and her eyes were so blue and her hair was this perfect shade of blonde that when the sun shone it glowed, making her look like an angel. Then she came to order her coffee and I realized her beauty was make-up and blue eyeshadow placed in strategic positions to enhance her eyecolor. And I wondered how many hours she spent looking in the mirror, and if guys even thought about, or noticed these things. Then I didn't feel so bad about myself, because she's obviously way more into herself than I am. And her outfit made her look extremely thin, yet healthy, which I doubt she ever eats.
I just want to be like Russell and Rhys and all those other thin people with high metabolism that can eat three cheese pizza's and not gain a pound. I wonder if there is no such thing as people with high metabolism, it's just that they take shits more often. In that case, maybe I just need to start incorporating spicy foods into my stomach. [Damn I hate taking shits]
I want to be one of those girls who feels beautiful when her picture is taken, who constantly checks herself out in any given reflection, yes, I want to be superficial. I want to be extremely gorgeous, giving whoever i'm dating at the current time no need to look around at other passing females.
But how long do I have to keep up this beauty routine, it's so exhausting!!
I feel like If I don't stay even moderately beautiful no one would love me (in the sexual sense). And it's the truth. People would treat me completely different if i were fat and ugly. In a way I somewhat envy fat people...
... sike!!!
I don't care if this entry makes me sound terrible.. Cus I'm bold like that. And I love myself. And I don't see anything wrong with that.
This is just so much to do all the time, and I really feel like I'm being forced into this habit of looking pretty. Or am I just growing up and changing, yet again.. blah.. I keep excercising and stressing out over my appearance and for what? Why do I have to keep putting myself through all this hard work? A young lady came into starbucks and her face was so bright and her eyes were so blue and her hair was this perfect shade of blonde that when the sun shone it glowed, making her look like an angel. Then she came to order her coffee and I realized her beauty was make-up and blue eyeshadow placed in strategic positions to enhance her eyecolor. And I wondered how many hours she spent looking in the mirror, and if guys even thought about, or noticed these things. Then I didn't feel so bad about myself, because she's obviously way more into herself than I am. And her outfit made her look extremely thin, yet healthy, which I doubt she ever eats.
I just want to be like Russell and Rhys and all those other thin people with high metabolism that can eat three cheese pizza's and not gain a pound. I wonder if there is no such thing as people with high metabolism, it's just that they take shits more often. In that case, maybe I just need to start incorporating spicy foods into my stomach. [Damn I hate taking shits]
I want to be one of those girls who feels beautiful when her picture is taken, who constantly checks herself out in any given reflection, yes, I want to be superficial. I want to be extremely gorgeous, giving whoever i'm dating at the current time no need to look around at other passing females.
But how long do I have to keep up this beauty routine, it's so exhausting!!
I feel like If I don't stay even moderately beautiful no one would love me (in the sexual sense). And it's the truth. People would treat me completely different if i were fat and ugly. In a way I somewhat envy fat people...
... sike!!!
I don't care if this entry makes me sound terrible.. Cus I'm bold like that. And I love myself. And I don't see anything wrong with that.