the weather
I hate how the weather manipulates the mood I'm in. There's something all too serious about winter. It's like Christmas was purposely placed during a time when the world is cold, just to give us all a bit of happiness.
I remember last week I kept trying to drive on roads with the most sunlight exposure. I ended up just getting on the highway where trees were kept at a distance, turning the heat on full blast pretending It was summer one last time.
I should be happy that this year jacksonville had warm weather up until November. But there's just...something about laying out to sunbathe, closing my eyes, feeling that invisible power bake me, slowly heating me up from the insides, and then, when the pain became unbearable, diving into that icy cool strange element called water. Laying out by my pool used to be this sacred ritual. It was my privacy. It was my thing.
And now... it's running. Running is like this natural high. After pushing your body to exhaustion this wave of calm overfloods your mind and you just feel.. great. It's especially nice running long distances listening to music and letting your body get locked in this rythm while your mind is subconciously thinking about a million things at once. you get locked into this trance...
I hate these days when I become anti-social and all I want to do is escape this world through sleep, to be like bears in hibernation. I hate feeling like I'm letting people down. Some people just don't understand how necessary solitude is for me.
I remember last week I kept trying to drive on roads with the most sunlight exposure. I ended up just getting on the highway where trees were kept at a distance, turning the heat on full blast pretending It was summer one last time.
I should be happy that this year jacksonville had warm weather up until November. But there's just...something about laying out to sunbathe, closing my eyes, feeling that invisible power bake me, slowly heating me up from the insides, and then, when the pain became unbearable, diving into that icy cool strange element called water. Laying out by my pool used to be this sacred ritual. It was my privacy. It was my thing.
And now... it's running. Running is like this natural high. After pushing your body to exhaustion this wave of calm overfloods your mind and you just feel.. great. It's especially nice running long distances listening to music and letting your body get locked in this rythm while your mind is subconciously thinking about a million things at once. you get locked into this trance...
I hate these days when I become anti-social and all I want to do is escape this world through sleep, to be like bears in hibernation. I hate feeling like I'm letting people down. Some people just don't understand how necessary solitude is for me.