(no subject)
ok yesterday i practically LIVED online from about 9 pm until 3 am. thats a whole lotta hours. i did mushrooms yesterday, it was TRIPPY. i dont think i will do that again. i always smoked dope and drank. not a good combination. i think im FUCKING myself up. but i had FOUR really good msn conversations and it made me all happy and then i got DEPRESSED. getting on with certain people pretty good. i might be meeting DP on thursday if he comes here its a long way. probly bring JASON with him, yay. noooo that sounds very bad. FUCK clait i am not going to sit in front of a CRAPPY computer for three hours doing bollucks all that i already know. im going to gobowen to buy WEED for the gig.
its ANDYS birthday today. im not sure whats going on. they were supposed to come round last night but we took too long and the pub was obviously more appealing. stupid PUB, its not like you can drink there. mums going to HOSPITAL today for three days. my wont that be fun. theres something else wrong that is totally unrelated to the CANCER. super duper.
i told someone something i shouldnt. well no its about ME but i do trust them. its just now i am VULNERABLE. i like to keep myself hidden so no one can HURT me. oh they do they do but they cant see they hurt me. i like to hurt myself to stop them hurting ME. now i feel really stupid and really NUMB
its ANDYS birthday today. im not sure whats going on. they were supposed to come round last night but we took too long and the pub was obviously more appealing. stupid PUB, its not like you can drink there. mums going to HOSPITAL today for three days. my wont that be fun. theres something else wrong that is totally unrelated to the CANCER. super duper.
i told someone something i shouldnt. well no its about ME but i do trust them. its just now i am VULNERABLE. i like to keep myself hidden so no one can HURT me. oh they do they do but they cant see they hurt me. i like to hurt myself to stop them hurting ME. now i feel really stupid and really NUMB