(no subject)
i'm feeling much better now, aside from just now having to watch an upsetting commercial...my mind is a calmer place to exist, or as much as it can be....my world slowly feels like it is righting itself, and for that, i'm grateful...will is back, vanquishing the unexplained nervousness and alienation...also, self initiated change, the rarity that it is, is around the corner...i can finally see improvement in my short term future...i'm a little scared, but it feels nice...i'll expand when there are more details to be had...
as a temporary solution to my financial situation, i am picking up extra shifts...today is the first one that i've been both selected for and not too exhausted to actually show up...most of the extra money will be going out to other people in the form of gifts, starting with the nieces and nephews...i'm not a big fan of this holiday and its obligatory spending, but i don't like to leave out the kids...i'm not exactly opposed to giving gifts..in fact, i like it...the obligation to put myself in an awkward financial situation is the biggest point i'm against...
i had a very drunken weepy visit with jason and sara this weekend...i found the whole experience to be therapeutic in a very strange way...sara left me alone with jason for a bit which made me feel incredibly nervous...that kind of trust is something i'm not used to, and if i were the girlfriend in this situation, it would've never happened...kudos to her for having that capacity..i would never do anything to endanger their health and happiness...i also got to see some people i hadn't seen for a bit...i also had enough drinks to make an appearance in a larger group...sara spent a lot of time talking to me both drunk saturday night and then sober on sunday morning..i like her, and i'm actually glad that jason has moved on with someone so nice and suited to him...i may have mentioned those points before...i'm really glad that i can keep them both in my life with minimal awkwardness and discomfort..the benefits most definitely outweigh any strange negativity that i could feel...sunday afternoon, they bought me a fabulous meal at steak n shake...they didn't have to and the gesture was very much appreciated, especially since i lost my dinner from the previous evening to the toilet...
everything else is pretty much the same as it's been..work is fine..work friends are still super awesome...car is fine, except that window...no serious complaints...let's keep it up!
as a temporary solution to my financial situation, i am picking up extra shifts...today is the first one that i've been both selected for and not too exhausted to actually show up...most of the extra money will be going out to other people in the form of gifts, starting with the nieces and nephews...i'm not a big fan of this holiday and its obligatory spending, but i don't like to leave out the kids...i'm not exactly opposed to giving gifts..in fact, i like it...the obligation to put myself in an awkward financial situation is the biggest point i'm against...
i had a very drunken weepy visit with jason and sara this weekend...i found the whole experience to be therapeutic in a very strange way...sara left me alone with jason for a bit which made me feel incredibly nervous...that kind of trust is something i'm not used to, and if i were the girlfriend in this situation, it would've never happened...kudos to her for having that capacity..i would never do anything to endanger their health and happiness...i also got to see some people i hadn't seen for a bit...i also had enough drinks to make an appearance in a larger group...sara spent a lot of time talking to me both drunk saturday night and then sober on sunday morning..i like her, and i'm actually glad that jason has moved on with someone so nice and suited to him...i may have mentioned those points before...i'm really glad that i can keep them both in my life with minimal awkwardness and discomfort..the benefits most definitely outweigh any strange negativity that i could feel...sunday afternoon, they bought me a fabulous meal at steak n shake...they didn't have to and the gesture was very much appreciated, especially since i lost my dinner from the previous evening to the toilet...
everything else is pretty much the same as it's been..work is fine..work friends are still super awesome...car is fine, except that window...no serious complaints...let's keep it up!