sunday after thanksgiving!
now that i have to be in at 8:30am, the sunday - thursday shift isn't so appealing...i made this mess, and i'll be okay...
i'm starting to feel that little twinge of excitement at the conclusion of this semester...not only is it just the end of the semester, but i only have one more semester left of actual classwork...monday, i'm popping in to see an adviser to make sure this excitement is warranted..there's no way i want to get this tingly without making sure i'm not forgetting something super important...i, honestly, cannot wrap my head around what it will be like when i finish this tiny degree, and i come face to face with the reality of work beyond manual labor and UPS...behind the excitement is a fire comprised of fear..the good kind of fear...the more i think about it, the more angry i become that i didn't get my ass in gear sooner...almost five years working on an AAS seems a bit ridiculous...but the end is approaching...
i can feel all the change brewing in the background...it makes me nervous..it also makes me excited...i'm approaching a brand-new chapter in life...i've always been terrified to turn the page, to continue with the plot...i'm still terrified, but it's not the only thing i feel...i'm not used to wanting to embrace change; i resist...this time, the resistance isn't as prominent...i WANT this...i want comfort and peace, especially if i cannot have happiness...
i feel complacent enough to allow things to be what they will be...i know now, that beyond all the pain, suffering, insults, fighting, etc, there is love like i've never felt...it was and is worth it...
enough of the vague...let's get this day started...and over!!
i'm starting to feel that little twinge of excitement at the conclusion of this semester...not only is it just the end of the semester, but i only have one more semester left of actual classwork...monday, i'm popping in to see an adviser to make sure this excitement is warranted..there's no way i want to get this tingly without making sure i'm not forgetting something super important...i, honestly, cannot wrap my head around what it will be like when i finish this tiny degree, and i come face to face with the reality of work beyond manual labor and UPS...behind the excitement is a fire comprised of fear..the good kind of fear...the more i think about it, the more angry i become that i didn't get my ass in gear sooner...almost five years working on an AAS seems a bit ridiculous...but the end is approaching...
i can feel all the change brewing in the background...it makes me nervous..it also makes me excited...i'm approaching a brand-new chapter in life...i've always been terrified to turn the page, to continue with the plot...i'm still terrified, but it's not the only thing i feel...i'm not used to wanting to embrace change; i resist...this time, the resistance isn't as prominent...i WANT this...i want comfort and peace, especially if i cannot have happiness...
i feel complacent enough to allow things to be what they will be...i know now, that beyond all the pain, suffering, insults, fighting, etc, there is love like i've never felt...it was and is worth it...
enough of the vague...let's get this day started...and over!!