Jun 19, 2006 19:46
I'm in oregon. it's really nice here. I'm so glad to be here... things were getting awful in boulder with lindsay and deva.
I love boulder, and I love deva, and lindsay too. but I don't love them together. bleh. couldn't fucking handle it, I was going psycho. it's all such a fucked up stupid situation. my best friend and my ex boyfriend. fucking each other.
it ended pretty bad. attacked lindsay in a drunken frenzy. barely remember. left the next day, bought the first ticket I could.
sucks cause boulder is so nice, I love it there. and all of deva's friends there, they're so cool. but I just couldn't stay.
before boulder we spent a couple days getting hammered in arizona with lindsay's mom. that was fun. everything's been a blur, though. drinking nonstop.
but now I'm in oregon, and I'm not drinking. and I'm not smoking. weed or cigarettes. and I've been eating healthy, been a vegan for almost a week now. been bike riding around eugene, getting exercise. I'm just happy to be on the right track. I had been drinking way too much.
still hurts, everything. but I now know I can never trust deva in that way ever again. you'd think I'd have gotten it the first time. *rolls eyes*