(no subject)
Leaning against the kitchen counter he lowered his gaze to the white and black tile floor as he let out a soft sigh. This conversation was going to be hard and he knew it. He was going to have to sacrifice what he wanted for what Jere needed and even though he always wanted the best for Jeremiah, it’s never easy to deny your own wants. The scrape of metal against the tile made him look up to see Jeremiah sliding off his stool and starting to approach. “Stop there.” Benji said quietly as Jeremiah got within three feet of him. He knew that if Jere was touching and kissing him he would loose his bottle and not be able to do what he had to do.
“What? Why?” Jeremiah asked confused. It was clear Benji wasn’t happy about him being here but he didn’t think that meant that there was no touching of any kind. After the initial hugs and kisses he had received when he arrived Jeremiah had been out in the cold in that respect. It was hard being so close, breathing him in and not being able to feel him.
“I, we need to talk and, yeah so just do as I say.” Nodding a little Benji looked up to meet Jeremiah’s soft, sad brown eyes and felt his heart melt slightly. There was something about the shape of his face and his deep sorrowful eyes that just made you want to hug him at all times and now with a pout forming at his lips it was making the urge even more intense. “Jeremiah you’re not running your life for me.”
”I’m not-“
“No Jeremiah we’re listening to me now.” Benji stopped Jeremiah from interrupting and gripped the side of the counter, flexing his fingers slowly as he licked his lips quickly, wishing he had had a drink before beginning this as now his throat was beginning to feel tight and dry. “You have a scholarship to go to the college back home. You have a future and there is no way I am going to let you let that go to waste over me. I’m always going to be here for you, we just have to be patient and learn to be away from each other. You know it isn’t that I want to be away from you, it would never be that but we have to think long term here Jere. I mean, I have complete faith in us but what if something happens and we don’t make it? Where are you going to be? You’ll just be kicking yourself for giving up such an amazing opportunity and I don’t want to be linked to the greatest regret of your life. I just want to be the greatest love of it.” Benji nodded slowly as he thought about what he said and then exhaled slowly. “Okay you can speak now.”
“Thank you.” Jere swayed slightly from foot to foot as he tried to take in all the information that he had been given. Benji’s point of view was clear and he could tell that there was no way of changing it. Benji wanted him in college. Benji wanted him to have a future. Benji wanted him to have a future with him. This was good news. Slightly. “I… Benji, I, I really just don’t want to leave, I like it here.” Honestly now when he thought of his future he couldn’t see a day which wasn’t Benji-fied. He didn’t want to see a day like that. “I’m aware I have a lot of opportunities but really, you’re my opportunity. Scholarships come and go, you can go to college anytime but when can you be in true love in that honeymoon period? That isn’t perpetual and I want to experience it while it’s here… I have complete faith in us too to last a life time but I don’t want to miss the novelty. I don’t want my face to loose it’s place in your brain and just be replaced with a phone number and address...” Running a hand through his hair Jeremiah took a few steps back to lean against the breakfast bar, the cold marble digging slightly into his back as he rest his whole weight against it.
“Jere, we’ll have our honeymoon period every time you come here, if anything it’ll last longer be-“
“No, it’s not the same Benji! Really, it’s not.”
”So you’re saying we should forget about your future so that we can be giggly together for a while?”
“No. I’m, I’m not saying that,” Sighing softly Jere closed his eyes slowly for a moment and tried to organise his thoughts. He had to convince Benji that him staying here wasn’t the end of his professional life but just the beginning of his professional and love life combined. “Don’t you think I can achieve anything here?”
“Of course you can achieve something, but it’s going to cost you a lot of money.”
“That’s worth it.”
“Debt is worth it?” Shaking his head Benji bit his lip gently before looking at Jere. “You’ve never been in debt Jere, you don’t know what it’s like, it’s a constant heavy weight on your shoulders. You have to think twice before buying or doing anything for fear of not being able to make next months payments.”
“I’ll get a job! I’ll lead a completely bliss full life where I just study, work and love my Benji. That sounds pretty good to me.”
“It sounds like something which you will tire of quickly.”
“I’ll never tire of you.”
“Maybe not me but the work. It’s not as easy as you seem to think it is.”
“Benji…” Walking towards him slowly Jeremiah placed his hands on Benji’s hips and leant down, kissing his forehead gently and just keeping his lips pressed there for a little while. Pulling back and smiling softly Jere pulled him in close so that there wasn’t an inch of space between them. “I’m not leaving and that’s final.”
“But-“
“No, no but’s I’m not leaving and you can’t make me.”
“Jere-“ Benji’s voice took on a childish whine.
“No, no Jere. I am going to sort this out. We’re going to be together if it kills me.”
“You wont be much use to me then.” Benji retorted with a little smirk, leaning up onto his tip toes to kiss Jere’s jaw softly, making a little trail down to his chin.
“Hush you.”
“When does semester start for you?”
“Two weeks.” Jere mumbled as he pressed his lips against Benji’s, relishing in the feel of his lips against his own once more.
“Five days.”
”Hmm?”
”Five days.” Benji repeated as he pulled back away from him, his jaw and eyes set as he fixed a stare upon him.
“Five days until what?”
“You have five days to make arrangements before I ring your mom to come get you and drag you to that damned university.”
“Five days?”
”Five days.” Benji nodded.
“Five days.” Jeremiah repeated solemnly and closed his eyes, savouring the last few peaceful, non stress filled moments that he could tell would be rare, if non existent in the next few days that he would be using to try and keep himself with his Benji.
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Okay, so long time no writing but it's back and if I think you want it, I'll finish this thing in the next three weeks tops.