Long and winding road
It's been a long time since I've updated this. Wow, I mean I just haven't found the time yeah know? I've had school and when I come home I talk to bf and eat food and do homework (not that I get alot). I mean so much has happened to me since my last entry, I find it hard to start.
Well since monday (the 16) I've officially been dating bf for..8 months. Like from a girl who never even thought it was possible... here I am. I would have never believed it if someone told me. I couldn't ask to have met a better person. He's kind, sweet, cute, funny, romantic, silly, smart, understanding and loving. He's so many things all wrapped into one and I can't help but love him so much! It's been a long 8 months I mean there have been fights and tears and all that crummy relationship stuff but there have been most of all the amazing, unforgettable times too. ^_^ I hope were together for a long long long long time.
So anyways, after the summer things changed in my life. I no longer went to my other school anymore...I mean that made me cry alot, you know I thought I ruined my life by not going back. I miss the comfort of friends and the smiles and laughs during classes with those you know. I haven't really made friends, which sucks. I mean my school has 3 different lunches so it makes it hard to talk to people outside of class and I mean everyones so close nit. Yeah I speak out in class I also have people talking to me but yeah know I miss best friends. I miss having jokes with my friends and picking groups and I dunno I miss it. I feel isolated sometimes when I'm alone at school. I haven't talked to Hanna or Jenna or Ella and yeah Tanya in a long time. Feels like I drifted a bit. Like we've planned and planned sometimes but you know...i never seems to work out. And everyone has there own sort of comforts now, and I'm glad they moved on and adapted. I just wish I had too. I mean I want to stay close with them but I mean I wish I had new friends too. I think I really admire Jenna now, I mean you were the first to leave and you made it. Your doing well for yourself and wow you amaze me. Now I know how you must have felt.
Don't get me wrong I have bf. I'm so greatful I do. He really helped me work through things and I'm not sad about leaving my old school anymore. I see him and it's wonderful and I never feel lonely when I'm sure I would. But I mean even he has friends and has his own school life. I feel sad because I don't really know where I am anymore, hearing about his day makes me think of mine before. Which I suppose isn't so bad, but I mean I kinda miss it. He said he wants to come to BSC to be closer to me next year. I told him I can't let him because I mean he has so many friends...it would just be sad to leave. Plus it's too far from his home and next year is his grade 12 so I don't want anything to get in the way of his grades or ruin his bright future. So i dunno about that, maybe I'll come to MCR..but I dunno long story about that. So who knows.
School is good, I've been so much better in going to school. I've worked hard for that. I mean bf is so smart..I mean like really smart. He's definitly going places in life so I work hard so that I can make something of myself too. I mean secreatly I always thought I'd drop out but...I don't want to now. Thats the wrong way to go about things, life will be more difficult in the end. I want to actually finish high school and then maybe college and actually do something with my life. I wanted to get a job in art somewhere but I mean can I really? I still take art and will still take it but a good thing about going to a different school is I can take art AND other courses. ESN allowed me to take art but just because I wanted to focus on that they never offered anything else BUT arts coarses. I don't want photography or film. I want art. Sure those might be fun but are those coarses going to help me in my future? NO. I guess thats a good thing I left I mean even if I wanted art I can take other coarses that can help me towards that too. And I get options, I open doors for myself now so i might enjoy something else too.
I look back to grade eight...I'm not the same person anymore. So many things have changed. I wonder where my life is leading me. I hope I make right decisions and things turn out the way I want. I want my relationship to continue, I really love him so much I hope I don't mess it up. And my friends? Yeah I'd like to see you all again. You have all changed too! I hope I can hang out with some of you and just so we can stay close. And big groups don't seem to be working out so how about just you and me things. Then maybe all together, I know everyone has their scheduel so maybe thats better.
Well much love and I hope everyones doing well.
ME ^_^v
Well since monday (the 16) I've officially been dating bf for..8 months. Like from a girl who never even thought it was possible... here I am. I would have never believed it if someone told me. I couldn't ask to have met a better person. He's kind, sweet, cute, funny, romantic, silly, smart, understanding and loving. He's so many things all wrapped into one and I can't help but love him so much! It's been a long 8 months I mean there have been fights and tears and all that crummy relationship stuff but there have been most of all the amazing, unforgettable times too. ^_^ I hope were together for a long long long long time.
So anyways, after the summer things changed in my life. I no longer went to my other school anymore...I mean that made me cry alot, you know I thought I ruined my life by not going back. I miss the comfort of friends and the smiles and laughs during classes with those you know. I haven't really made friends, which sucks. I mean my school has 3 different lunches so it makes it hard to talk to people outside of class and I mean everyones so close nit. Yeah I speak out in class I also have people talking to me but yeah know I miss best friends. I miss having jokes with my friends and picking groups and I dunno I miss it. I feel isolated sometimes when I'm alone at school. I haven't talked to Hanna or Jenna or Ella and yeah Tanya in a long time. Feels like I drifted a bit. Like we've planned and planned sometimes but you know...i never seems to work out. And everyone has there own sort of comforts now, and I'm glad they moved on and adapted. I just wish I had too. I mean I want to stay close with them but I mean I wish I had new friends too. I think I really admire Jenna now, I mean you were the first to leave and you made it. Your doing well for yourself and wow you amaze me. Now I know how you must have felt.
Don't get me wrong I have bf. I'm so greatful I do. He really helped me work through things and I'm not sad about leaving my old school anymore. I see him and it's wonderful and I never feel lonely when I'm sure I would. But I mean even he has friends and has his own school life. I feel sad because I don't really know where I am anymore, hearing about his day makes me think of mine before. Which I suppose isn't so bad, but I mean I kinda miss it. He said he wants to come to BSC to be closer to me next year. I told him I can't let him because I mean he has so many friends...it would just be sad to leave. Plus it's too far from his home and next year is his grade 12 so I don't want anything to get in the way of his grades or ruin his bright future. So i dunno about that, maybe I'll come to MCR..but I dunno long story about that. So who knows.
School is good, I've been so much better in going to school. I've worked hard for that. I mean bf is so smart..I mean like really smart. He's definitly going places in life so I work hard so that I can make something of myself too. I mean secreatly I always thought I'd drop out but...I don't want to now. Thats the wrong way to go about things, life will be more difficult in the end. I want to actually finish high school and then maybe college and actually do something with my life. I wanted to get a job in art somewhere but I mean can I really? I still take art and will still take it but a good thing about going to a different school is I can take art AND other courses. ESN allowed me to take art but just because I wanted to focus on that they never offered anything else BUT arts coarses. I don't want photography or film. I want art. Sure those might be fun but are those coarses going to help me in my future? NO. I guess thats a good thing I left I mean even if I wanted art I can take other coarses that can help me towards that too. And I get options, I open doors for myself now so i might enjoy something else too.
I look back to grade eight...I'm not the same person anymore. So many things have changed. I wonder where my life is leading me. I hope I make right decisions and things turn out the way I want. I want my relationship to continue, I really love him so much I hope I don't mess it up. And my friends? Yeah I'd like to see you all again. You have all changed too! I hope I can hang out with some of you and just so we can stay close. And big groups don't seem to be working out so how about just you and me things. Then maybe all together, I know everyone has their scheduel so maybe thats better.
Well much love and I hope everyones doing well.
ME ^_^v