(no subject)
he sent out this email to everyone in the class
Date: Wed, 23 Nov 2005 10:22:38 -0500 (EST)
Subject: I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving
Bush To Increase Funding For Hope-Based Initiatives November 23, 2005 |
Issue 4147 - The Onion
WASHINGTONPresident Bush announced today that he will sign a bill
providing an additional $2.8 billion for private organizations that
emphasize the importance of hoping for change.
Bush presents his plan to fund organizations that hope for change.
"This bill acknowledges the immeasurable role of hope in envisioning a
better world for everyone," Bush said during a press conference.
"Starting today, I ask all Americans to hope together as one nation
that the difficult problems that grip our nation will go away someday."
The president's move will help direct federal funds to such groups as
the National Hope Foundation, which has been hoping for a cure for
cancer for nearly two decades.
"There are many in our country who are without hope," Bush said. "Yet
there are many respected organizations in America that are actively
hoping things get better. This program will assist these organizations
in obtaining government grants, which will allow them to continue the
important hoping that must be done."
Among the programs likely to receive funding is Project Hope You Don't
Get Sick, a non-profit organization hoping that over 45 million
Americans receive the proper health care they need.
Dream Job United, another likely recipient, is a widely acclaimed
program in which the ill-prepared and uneducated are trained to hope
for job interviews at top companies.
Another project slated for assistance in is a Louisiana-based
teen-pregnancy reduction program, in which volunteers hope teens
abstain from intercourse.
Under the bill, wish-based initiatives will also be eligible for
increased funding. Dozens of independent wishful-thinking foundations,
such as America Wishes Things Were Better, expect to receive grants to
fund distribution of pennies, wishbones, and birthday candles.
Those with wishes and hopes applauded the president's move, saying that
faith alone cannot rectify the nation's social ills.
"Faith-based problem-solving is noble, but we should not discount the
power of hope," said veteran hoper Howard Thorndike, who heads the
Please Oh Please Institute, a Houston-based wish tank. "'Hail Mary'
strategies, for example, are a part of the fabric of our nation, from
the football field to the boardroom, and our government ignores such
traditions at its peril."
Bush echoed Thorndike's sentiments. "As your president, I have seen
firsthand what hoping can do," he said. "I have heard stories of decent
people trapped under piles of rubble, and I have hoped that they would
be rescued. And eventually, many were. Recently, powerful storms and
destructive hurricanes ravaged some of our great cities. I hope that
you will join me in wishing that we do not get hit by any more of
those."
Bush added: "Laura and I hope every night that good things will happen
for our great country. My fellow Americans, I call on you to do the
same."
© Copyright 2005, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.
The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
i wrote back:
hahahah! the onion is great. check out landoverbaptist.org if
you've never seen it. it's about the equivilent to the onion for
fundamental christians.
he wrote back to me:
I had forgotten about that site (and abot bettybowers.com, which I haven't visited in a long time)! I like tshirthell.com, too, and their e-mail newsletters are really funny - completely politically incorrect, but really funny.
I sent the article to the entire class (probably a mistake). One person responded, "I appreciate the article………….but wow, what material for those representing the other side…." I have no idea what she means by that. Does she believes it was a real article and is she worried about the people who oppose hope? I am constantly amazed by the ways that some students interpret the things I say or write or forward....
the rosebuds are playing on friday
xiu xiu is playing on sunday.
semester ends monday.
winter break will consist of reading, organizing and downloading music on my computer and work.