as close to a love poem as i shall ever get in my life
How do I know that thou art a douchebag?
Because thou art, or have once been, attracted to me;
I call forth douches like a flame calls forth a moth.
I have oft wondered how this can be,
and how thy canst behave as thou doth.
How do I know that thou art a douchebag?
Because thy actions change to thy wishes and whims,
Beause thou thinkest with thy dick and not thy brain,
Because thou art far too loose with thine limbs,
Because thou windest me up and drivest me insane.
How do I know that thou art a douchebag?
And whyfore canst I not reconcile this to mine heart?
Why canst I not forget thee and thy pleasing aspect,
Or moveth the fuck on whilest we art so far apart?
Perchance I still love you, you douche, I expect.
...Shakespeare would be so proud.
*and yes, I realize that "doth" does not actually rhyme with "moth"
Because thou art, or have once been, attracted to me;
I call forth douches like a flame calls forth a moth.
I have oft wondered how this can be,
and how thy canst behave as thou doth.
How do I know that thou art a douchebag?
Because thy actions change to thy wishes and whims,
Beause thou thinkest with thy dick and not thy brain,
Because thou art far too loose with thine limbs,
Because thou windest me up and drivest me insane.
How do I know that thou art a douchebag?
And whyfore canst I not reconcile this to mine heart?
Why canst I not forget thee and thy pleasing aspect,
Or moveth the fuck on whilest we art so far apart?
Perchance I still love you, you douche, I expect.
...Shakespeare would be so proud.
*and yes, I realize that "doth" does not actually rhyme with "moth"