SPOILER ALERT (PART 6)!
As it were, Richard rescues Nicci and Kahlan from certain death. Jagang is taken away to be healed, and uses the collars he's got on Nicci and Kahlan's necks to force them to follow. But they don't, so they both are basically down for the count. Out of nowhere, Samuel pops up (in human form) with the Sword of Truth, cuts the collar from Kahlan's neck and escapes with her. Then Adie and Benjamin randomly show up and save the day. WTF?!?! They escape, dragging alone Nicci, who is fucking DYING at this point. They have to fight their way through the catacombs and up into the People's Palace. Meanwhile, Rachel finally gets to where she's been running to, which is that stupid cave in Tamarang where all of the drawings are. Fucking Violet is there, and it is finally explained what the hell is going on here... Violet cast a spell so all sorts of underworld creatures would kill Rachel. Rachel changes the drawing with the calk her FUCKING DEAD MOTHER gave her, and scary underworld thingies kill Violet instead. Rachel then sets about trying to fix the drawing that took Richard's powers away. Six pops up, takes Rachel hostage. Back at the People's Palace, after like 5 chapters of excruciating stupidity, Nathan and company finally figure out what happened with the tombs and the Imerial Order coming in through the catacombs. It is at this precise moment that Richard and company come bursting through the fake wall the Order troops put up. Epic battle ensues. Nathan beats down the Order troops with some wizard's fire. Adie is wounded in the battle. Now we've got 2 dying bitches on our hands. Nathan only has the energy/power/whatever to save one. Adie tells him to help Nicci, as she's old and useless anyway. But Nathan is all like "FUCK! SUBTRACTIVE MAGIC!" so he can't do anything. He heals Adie and leaves Nicci to die. Richard, in his completely-platonic, non-undying-love-confessing anguish (*grumblegrumble*) suddenly gets his powers back. WHAT EXCELLENT TIMING! He takes the collar off of Nicci, and she is saved. Then the Beast randomy shows up in a completely different form than ever before seen. That guy who was in charge of the First File gets taken out by the Beast, which has become this weird, psuedo-human thingy. Richard shoots it with some magical arrows Nathan found for the First File awhile back, and the beast go bye-bye. Well, that was easy. Kahlan and Samuel travel for like, three chapters. BORING. Samuel ends up telling Kahlan that she and Richard are married... HA HA! Eventually, Samuel tries to rape Kahlan and (let's pretend we didn't see this coming) she fends him off. She grabs the Sword to defend herself with, and its power is like "OMG WTF CONFESSOR!" and she gets her powers back. We are treated to the same exact three-page rambling we get EVERY FUCKING TIME KAHLAN USES HER POWERS, and she touches Samuel. He reveals that he was gonna take her to Six. Kahlan kills him. Meanwhile, Richard is studying up on Ordenic Theory so he can open the boxes. Also, he does some weird thing with Jillian to cast nightmares on the Imperial Order army. He and Nicci are now completely-platonic study buddies (*grumbles*). Long story short, he has to go to the Underworld to get back the shit that Chainfire stole from the world of life. He chooses (RANDOM CHARACTER ALERT) Denna as his "spirit guide" or whatever, and they go into the Underworld, where they encounter the Beast yet again. He is apparently gone for like, 10 days or something, so Nathan prepares to surrender the People's Palace to Jagang. He locks Nicci up in a dungeon until Jagang can get there. Back in the Underworld, Richard tells Denna to leave him so he can fight the beast. She bounces. Richard releases Additive magic into the Underworld (a place of Subtractive magic), thus killing the Beast. WHY didn't we do this sooner? Richard pops up in (RANDOM CHARACTER ALERT) the SPIRIT HOUSE WITH THE MUD PEOPLE. Apparently, they called a gathering to get him back because CHASE SHOWED UP AND TOLD THEM THAT HIS DEAD MOTHER TOLD HIM TO TELL THEM TO DO SO. Ok. Fine. Richard heads towards Tamarang. On the way, he bumps into Kahlan. She tells him what she knows, and he's all like "Well, shit" and won't fill in the details she keeps asking for. She comes to the conclusion that it must have been a marriage of convenience. Whatever. One random night, he gives her another one of those little "Spirit" carvings. They get to Tamarang, collect the various loons trapped there (Zedd and company). Like the creeper that he truely is, Richard keeps asking everyone to "touch his sword" so they can see Kahlan. He finds the book that he hid there when he was captured by Six. Which is called "Secrets to a War Wizard's Powers", no magical double-speak there. He opens the book (last time he had it, he couldn't read it cause he couldn't access his gift), and finds that the whole thing is in fact blank. HA HA. Zedd lectures that it means that it's the Unspoken Wizard's Rule what no one actually knows what it is (as it's NEVER ONCE BEEN SPOKEN, THOSE IDIOTS). But it's the key to Orden or some shit. Six pops in like "ARGH! I KILL YOU!" But then HER FUCKING MOTHER shows up and is like "WTF, Six, go die." And she does. *EPICFACEPALM* Turns out that all this dead mother business was somehow important, as all of a sudden, it is no longer Six's mommy, but (RANDOM CHARACTER ALERT) Shota. Apparently, she was behind all of these dead mother sightings. Also, she has a surprise. It's (MORE RANDOM CHARACTERS!) Gregory, the baby red dragon that Richard rescued to get Scarlet's help back in the first book. Only he's not a baby anymore. Everyone climbs on, and they fly over to the People's Palace. They get there just in time to surrender to Jagang. Jagang and the Sisters take over the Garden of Life, where they procede to open the boxes. Jagang goes to the dungeon to get Nicci. When he gets close enough to her, we have a very lovely "IT'S A TRAP!" moment, in which Nicci pops a Rada'Han around Jagang's neck. SHE OWNS YOU NOW, BITCH. They go back to the Garden on Life. At some point, Richard has a Deus Ex Realization, and has figured out this whole mess. Whatever. Talking, talking, talking... finally, the Sisters open a Box. Naturally, it doesn't work, and they get sucked into the Underworld (HA HA). Jagang is all like "WTF?!" and in the most anti-climactic moment of this entire book, Nicci uses the collar to off him. The body is dragged away, and we never speak of him again. Now, Richard must go save THE EARTH. So, he uses the Sword of Truth to find the right Box (?!), as the blade does it's "righteous rage" turning white thing that hasn't been used in like, 7 books when touching the correct box. Richard opens said Box. Everything goes white, and Richard does what he does best to solve all the world's problems: he surmonizes. FOR FIVE WHOLE PAGES. I shit you not, it's five pages of NOTHING but Richard talking. He just goes on and on and on until I almost puked. Basically, he's creating a second, geographically identical, world for the Order folk: one with no magic, where the Order rules unchallenaged. Everyone who truely believes that this is the way things should be gets sent there, to live as SOULESS ABOMINATIONS. For serious. They have no souls. They get no afterlife. Sucks. Especially since stupid Jennsen is all "HAI I WANNA GO!" and takes the rest of the Pillars of creation (as well as her little boyfriend, Tom) there with her. That's right, Richard. You doom that bitch to an eternity of oblivion. So, he puts all the bad guys into that world, and closes the gate, making the two worlds seperate forever. Kahlan then pops up like "OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU" and Richard is confused. CHEAP EXPLANATION ALERT: it apparently does not matter that she knew they were married (thus destroying the "sterile feild") because she *gag* fell in love with him *gag* all over again before she knew the truth. *HURLS* Nicci, just like any ACTUAL HUMAN BEING WOULD, is like "Richard, I love you, but your wife is so perfect, I'll just let you two be together forever!" *DRY HEAVES* And Kahlan's like "COOL, I WON'T EVER FEEL JEALOUS OR RESENT YOU FOR IT!" I feel like this chapter should end with everyone breaking out into cheap, sitcom-style laughter. The next chapter is Jennsen and Tom in the other world. Terry Goodkind takes this opportunity to slyly imply that this is kind of OUR world, by slipping in to words "church" and "God" and mentioning "symbols of the new religion" that people wear as necklaces. Which is nothing like Christianity... you know, not at all. While I am basically a self-proclaimed agnosticist, this sort of commentary does not belong in this book. It actually bothered me. Whatever. Last chapter! Cara and Benjamin get married and everyone lives happily ever after!
FIN.