this is seriously not a drunk post.

[_ninetyseven_]

i fucking hate that my mother favors her children.
I fucking hate that she sits there and tells people oh heather's just this, heathers just that..allies my real favorite and then everyone thinks its a big fucking joke.

then i come upstairs and shes talking about how wonderful she is and how much she just wants to buy all this shit for her.
Its not so much that i want my mom to buy me things its more the fact that i've probably heard my mother tell me she loves me 10 times in my entire life and i heard her say it to Allie everyday.
She calls marissa weird ,she pretty much makes me feel like i'm this failure asshole..and the boys..ugh don't even get me started.

i hate feeling like this. I hate that she pretends i don't exsist around most of her friends.
Maybe i'm just imagining this. Maybe i'm just tired. I don't know.

i'm probably just being a childish or selfish but i guess no one would really understand unless they grew up with her or saw how she is 85% of the time.
Shes fine when everyone else is around. But really she makes me feel fucking worthless the majority of the time and thats the fucking truth.