[private entry]
Hard to believe it all went down in under a few hours. The reveal, the demand, the showdown. And I wasn't even really there for any of it -- just someone, like a lot of other people, caught up in a tidal wave of hate, and worried sick for our kids.
I can count how many times I've felt helpless on one hand. This comes only second to seeing my parents die.
What really chaps my ass is knowing that Vandal Savage was responsible - not only for the modifications to Ra's' virus in league with Light, but because he showed up at the Watchtower with the cure, claiming giving this sickness to the kids wasn't part of his agenda.
And with our daughter's life in the balance... I went and I fucked up something fierce.
The Titans and the JLA at each other's throats, live on national television. Mental suggestion or not, it's going to take some serious work to repair that damage - and I'm not just talking about the PR.
The hardest part about everything that went down isn't wondering if those who saw my meltdown can forgive me. It's whether I can forgive myself.
I keep asking myself if I did the right thing; sending Mary to the moon with Selina while I essentially went out and beat the living daylights out of two people: One who adopted me, the other someone I wouldn't give the time of day. Babs keeps telling me otherwise. I'm not so sure.
Leaders aren't supposed to lose it. Leaders aren't supposed to have their mentors' blood on their hands.
Maybe I'm not supposed to be a leader anymore.
But Mary's okay. And I guess, in the grand scheme of things, that's the only thing that really matters.
I can count how many times I've felt helpless on one hand. This comes only second to seeing my parents die.
What really chaps my ass is knowing that Vandal Savage was responsible - not only for the modifications to Ra's' virus in league with Light, but because he showed up at the Watchtower with the cure, claiming giving this sickness to the kids wasn't part of his agenda.
And with our daughter's life in the balance... I went and I fucked up something fierce.
The Titans and the JLA at each other's throats, live on national television. Mental suggestion or not, it's going to take some serious work to repair that damage - and I'm not just talking about the PR.
The hardest part about everything that went down isn't wondering if those who saw my meltdown can forgive me. It's whether I can forgive myself.
I keep asking myself if I did the right thing; sending Mary to the moon with Selina while I essentially went out and beat the living daylights out of two people: One who adopted me, the other someone I wouldn't give the time of day. Babs keeps telling me otherwise. I'm not so sure.
Leaders aren't supposed to lose it. Leaders aren't supposed to have their mentors' blood on their hands.
Maybe I'm not supposed to be a leader anymore.
But Mary's okay. And I guess, in the grand scheme of things, that's the only thing that really matters.