losing what was almost meant to be
I don't really know what to say for this entry.... it's been one year today since Aaron passed away. I can't really say I've gotten over it or that things have gotten any better... I still just miss him sooooo much. I think the thing that I'm most scared of now is just that I'm scared of forgetting... not that I will ever be able to forget how I feel about him or how much he means to me or how he felt about me... just that I will forget the little things... the little things that I probably didn't even pay that much attention to at the time but that I know feel so thankful to remember. Simple stuff like how he was such a picky eater (he ordered burgers PLAIN, which was actually probably how I wished I'd ordered mine at that place with the nasty brown sauce that he took us to... alabama is crazy), or our little jokes that we had (*chirp chirp*), or the way he would joke with me... stuff like that.
When I think about it, I don't know what my life would be like without Aaron.... he gave me some of the best gifts anyone ever could have. I know that a lot of the reason I've gotten so close to Jenna and Sarah is because of him. He also showed me what it was to really feel loved... no matter what I did it didn't change that... and even though I don't have him anymore, I know what that felt like and I know better than to settle for anything less.
'cause there's no place that I could be without you
it's too far to discard the life I once knew
honestly, all the weather storms are bringing
are just a picture of my dreams
'cause when I think of you as mine
and allow myself with time
to lead into the life we want
I feel loved, honestly
(((zwan)))
I listened to some TSL and Weezer for him today.... both have new cds coming out on Tuesday, along with Waking Ashland... I know that if he were still here then me and him would be flipping out over all this new music greatness....
For months you've been away
You're here a couple days
I've got all of the time in the world
To do with what we please
If it were up to me
We'd have all of the time in the world
Just stay right where I can see you
When you go away I get so low
Like temperatures when they're at their coldest
When you go away I get so lonely
And I'm stranded by the side of the bed
I can name all 50 states
48 get in the way
From me being next to you (From me being next to you)
If it were up to me
We'd have everything we need
You'd have me, and I'd have you
Just stay right where I could be-
Anyone you want
I'm glad I got the job
We've got something in mind
And I've got all this time
(((the starting line)))
When everything is wrong I'll come talk to you
You make things alright when I'm feeling blue
You are such a blessing and I wont be messing
with the one thing that brings light to all of my darkness
You are my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do
There is no other one that can take your place
I feel happy inside when I see your face
I hope you believe me
Because I speak sincerely
and I mean it when I tell you I need you
You are my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do
(((weezer)))
here we lay again
on two separate beds
riding phone lines
to hear that familiar voice
and pictures brought from memory
we reflect on miscomunication
and misunderstandings
and missing each other too
much to have had to let go
we turn our music down
and we whisper
say what your thinking right now
tell me what you thought about
when you were gone and so alone
the worst is over
you can have the best of me
we got older but we're still young
we never grew out of this feeling that we wont give up
(((the starting line)))
When I think about it, I don't know what my life would be like without Aaron.... he gave me some of the best gifts anyone ever could have. I know that a lot of the reason I've gotten so close to Jenna and Sarah is because of him. He also showed me what it was to really feel loved... no matter what I did it didn't change that... and even though I don't have him anymore, I know what that felt like and I know better than to settle for anything less.
'cause there's no place that I could be without you
it's too far to discard the life I once knew
honestly, all the weather storms are bringing
are just a picture of my dreams
'cause when I think of you as mine
and allow myself with time
to lead into the life we want
I feel loved, honestly
(((zwan)))
I listened to some TSL and Weezer for him today.... both have new cds coming out on Tuesday, along with Waking Ashland... I know that if he were still here then me and him would be flipping out over all this new music greatness....
For months you've been away
You're here a couple days
I've got all of the time in the world
To do with what we please
If it were up to me
We'd have all of the time in the world
Just stay right where I can see you
When you go away I get so low
Like temperatures when they're at their coldest
When you go away I get so lonely
And I'm stranded by the side of the bed
I can name all 50 states
48 get in the way
From me being next to you (From me being next to you)
If it were up to me
We'd have everything we need
You'd have me, and I'd have you
Just stay right where I could be-
Anyone you want
I'm glad I got the job
We've got something in mind
And I've got all this time
(((the starting line)))
When everything is wrong I'll come talk to you
You make things alright when I'm feeling blue
You are such a blessing and I wont be messing
with the one thing that brings light to all of my darkness
You are my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do
There is no other one that can take your place
I feel happy inside when I see your face
I hope you believe me
Because I speak sincerely
and I mean it when I tell you I need you
You are my best friend
and I love you, and I love you
Yes I do
(((weezer)))
here we lay again
on two separate beds
riding phone lines
to hear that familiar voice
and pictures brought from memory
we reflect on miscomunication
and misunderstandings
and missing each other too
much to have had to let go
we turn our music down
and we whisper
say what your thinking right now
tell me what you thought about
when you were gone and so alone
the worst is over
you can have the best of me
we got older but we're still young
we never grew out of this feeling that we wont give up
(((the starting line)))