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You Know You're From San Francisco When...
You take a bus and are shocked that 2 people are carrying on a
conversation in English.
Someone says TENDERLOIN - you don't think of steak.
You never bother looking at the MUNI line schedule because you know the drivers have never seen it.
A really great parking space can move you to tears.
You know that anyone wearing shorts in July must be visiting from Ohio.
You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits.
Your boss runs in "The Bay to Breakers"....and it's not the first time you have seen him/her nude.
You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between yoga, aroma therapy, conversational mandarin or a building your own web site class.
You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved to SF and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit Tower if your life depended on it.
You were born somewhere else.
Left is right and right is wrong.
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.
You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.
Your family tree contains "significant others."
Your cat has its own psychiatrist.
Smoking in your office is not optional.
You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.
Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.
Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US
A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
You give a "thumbs up" gesture to a car with a "Free Tibet" bumper sticker - and you mean it.
When you drive under an underpass - for one moment you think "earthquake".
You realize the only Republicans you know are your Aunt and Uncle in Texas.
You realize there are far more Rainbow flags in the city than California State Flags.
You go to your office manager's baby shower - the parent's are named Judy and Becky.
When your church elects a new Bishop who abandoned his family and two young daughters to fulfill his sexual urges with another man.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from San Francisco.
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You Know You're From Britain When...
You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.
You're always a half an hour late to work ... no-one notices or cares.
Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.
You can actually give directions to some of those annoying tourists in Oxford Street!
You step over a drunk in the tube station rather than offering to help them.
You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.
You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub.
You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear decent clothes.
You dissolve in laughter when listening to the funny accent of the Aussie international telephone operator (or on TV!).
You think £40 for a haircut is quite reasonable.
You can't remember what 'customer service' means.
After a big night out you find yourself looking for a Curry house
More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.
You don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser
You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'.
You only just realise you have lost your sunnies, you left them in Greece 2 summers ago.
You like English cuisine. I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.
You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat... this year
You've bought a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco.
A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.
You always call soccer football and you have a team and it's not Manchester United.
You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.
A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear
You've accepted queuing as a way of life.
You believe that every American is a fatass addicted to hamburgers and hotdogs.
You despise the French (but then, who doesn't?).
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Britan.
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ahahaha those are all so true - especially these:
*You've bought a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco.
*After a big night out you find yourself looking for a Curry house
*A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.
*You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.
i almost cried i was laughing so hard. aww i miss england.
Be very proud to be British because...
Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.