tuh...yeah
I don't really know where to begin this. Bryan and I are going to remain 'friends' until he gets his ..self straight. I told him I couldn't handle acting like we're together when we both know he still has feelings for his ex, and he said he doesn't want to put me through it and we should just be friends. We had a really long conversation last night and I keep thinking I shouldn't have brought it up, because then we'd still be..whatever we were. Then I realize how stupid that sounds and I know that this is "the best" but it really pisses me off. I mean, he says he likes me a lot and wants to be with me, and we hang out and flirt and watch movies and at the same time he has "strong feelings" for someone else. I told him I don't want to be his little fling between their togetherness- I don't want to be any kind of fling. He said he doesn't want me to be either. He basically contradicts himself every five minutes. But I like him so much..which is an odd thing for me to say. I love being with him and talking to him, and I thought everything was fine and gradually moving along. We were "whatever" for a couple weeks, we went to Sadie's together..where I had a lot of fun...and then one day he told me some random story about Lisa, or I'd see him talking to her in school, or one of my friends would tell me they heard Lisa talking about him in a class, and so I asked him if he did still like her. And when he said he does it blew me away, I wasn't expecting it. So I stuck it out because he said he does like me too but is confused, and then I kept seeing him with her and I just couldn't take it. So about two weeks or so after I confronted him about it, while we still carried on our "whateverness," I told him it's too much. Though he's the one that said we should just be friends, because I was too chicken to. This is making him sound like a jerk, and he's really not. He can't help how he feels. Who can? He kept telling me he doesn't want to hurt me anymore, and "I think we should just remain friends until I get everything straight, and as bad as this sounds, maybe pick up then. But I hate to say that because I don't want anyone to wait for me." So I know he has feelings for me, he's just stupid and still tied on someone who screwed him over a year ago. I don't know. I have terrible luck with relationships. But I sincerely hope this turns out in my favor.