(no subject)
i'm an asshole. two months ago he came to see me to work things out and all i could do, all i could think to do, was to scream at him and tell him how much i hated him. i kept telling him that it wasn't fair that he kept disappearing and reappearing in my life because i couldn't handle the inconsistency. i demanded that he go back to boston and erase me from his life because i was going to do the same. and now what? now he's 4 and a half hours away, by car, laying in a hospital bed with almost every bone in his body broken, completely comatose.
mike texted me while i was in the lab working and i had to read it five or six times before i was able to wrap my mind around what it said. but even then, i don't think it really hit me. it didn't really sink in until i got home and broke down in front of alyssa. mike asked me to fly out with him tonight, but there was no way i could. his flight arrived in boston at 11:56pm and i'm still waiting to hear from him.
the truth is, i never hated him; i could never ever hate him, it was always the situation i hated. i hated the the months that he was out of my life when i didn't know if he was still alive or where he was; i hated that i missed him every single minute of every single day until he finally called or showed up. i just couldn't handle it, but i can learn and be more patient and understanding. and if he makes it through this, i promise promise promise i will let him know that. please make it through this.
mike texted me while i was in the lab working and i had to read it five or six times before i was able to wrap my mind around what it said. but even then, i don't think it really hit me. it didn't really sink in until i got home and broke down in front of alyssa. mike asked me to fly out with him tonight, but there was no way i could. his flight arrived in boston at 11:56pm and i'm still waiting to hear from him.
the truth is, i never hated him; i could never ever hate him, it was always the situation i hated. i hated the the months that he was out of my life when i didn't know if he was still alive or where he was; i hated that i missed him every single minute of every single day until he finally called or showed up. i just couldn't handle it, but i can learn and be more patient and understanding. and if he makes it through this, i promise promise promise i will let him know that. please make it through this.