(Untitled)

[_namo]

*receives his weekly death toll report*

*scans through the names until he finds one that looks more familiar than most*

:D

*issues an incorporeal summons in large, careful handwriting*

Comments

[tar_calion]

Please tell me I'm asleep, please tell me I'm asleep...

[_namo]

Not asleep...dead! :D

[tar_calion]

Dead?

Well. WELL SHIT!

*Would probably cry if he still had tear-ducts*

[_namo]

It was a very NICE death. The kind elfies like you really enjoy. Lots of blood and shouting.

[tar_calion]

I'm not an elfie, I'm descended from elfies but I'm NOT an elfie.

*Thinks really hard about what happened and replays it in his non-existent head*

Fucking little, rabê!!! The ONE time in my life I actually try to back down from a fight, I end up dying. Well that's just GREAT.

Is my son all right? :(

[_namo]

Oh, yeah. He's fine...see? Looks like a sad little fella, though. :(

*grants you a temporary vision of a distraught 'Thor*

Not an elfie? I guess I'll have to put you Outside eventually then. But for now, just float in that corner and think about what you've done or something.

[tar_calion]

*Mental ranting and wailing*

DAMMIT ALL, I CAN'T LEAVE THEM ALONE, LET ME OUT OF HERE!

"Outside?" No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not there, no. Nononononono. :S

[_namo]

Hush! If you aren't good, I'll make you fill out twice as many forms with half the supply.

*decisively*

Outside is where non-elfies go when they die. I remember now. :D

[tar_calion]

No, no, I can't go outside because erm...

Oh come on, think, Pharazôn, think...

Because of the...PROPHECY! Yes, that'll do.

[_namo]

TEARS UNNUMBERED YE SHALL SHED; AND THE VALAR WILL FENCE VALINOR AGAINST YOU...

*rambles on in a booming, echoing voice*

...

That one? :D

[tar_calion]

*Winces*

Ow. ... No. Not that one. A different one. The one about...erm...Oh shit, why didn't I pay more attention to Akallabêth instead of writing it off as historical bias? You know, about the Day of Doom and the last battle and me? And my warriors? You know, the Caves of the Forgotten?

*Gives off pleading hopeful vibes*

[_namo]

...

*mentally frowns*

I don't remember that one. Are you sure about that? I think I'd get in trouble for rehousing some non-elfies. :S

[tar_calion]

*Desperately doesn't want you to realise that he's pulling stuff out of his non-corporeal ass*

Well, you'd better have a good think about it, hadn't you? You might get in trouble, that's true but it would be TERRIBLE if you messed up the Day of Doom, wouldn't it?

[_namo]

Hmm...good point...*nod*...yes, very good...hmmm...*nod, nod*

...

Why don't you have a seat Outside while I think about it? I'll get back to you.

*starts chanting gutturally and making arcane gestures until you begin to feel increasingly thin and faded*

[tar_calion]

What? NO! How about a game of checkers...?

[_namo]

:o

:D

Did you know you're the first former person to ask ME to play checkers? :D

*brings you all the way back and manifests a ghostly checkerboard*