Please read this, Nay, I promise it's not mean :\mrsminnisJuly 13 2006, 00:53:08 UTC
Renee, I didn't really know how else to contact you, and I just can't handle talking on the phone because I feel like I'll burst into tears if I do, and that won't help any of us. So I'm just going to copy&paste something from another blog and then elaborate.
"I tell myself I'm glad all this is over and done with, I tell myself it's better off this way, I tell myself that it's a relief, so why am I crying?
When am I going to get my WICKED book back? It's like in those movies when a couple breaks up and they bring a box of each others' stuff to the other person's house. It's awkward, it's strange. It's almost this tangible feeling of alienation. A person who's been in my life my entire life is now out of it. There's no fixing this.
And I tell myself over and over that it's not my fault, that she was wrong, that I was right to speak my piece... so why am I crying so hard? Why am I finally crying over ME instead of a song or a movie or a book? Why am I feeling like I'm in 8th grade again with no one to talk to and nothing to do but listen to music and write and cry every night?
I wish someone was here with me. I can't talk to my parents about it, because it'll turn into THEM talking to ME about it. And I don't care right now. I want to cry to someone about losing a huge part of my life over something that didn't need to happen."
Renee, I think you took me off your friends list, so I had to post this in a comment.
I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was angry because I honestly believe that you were being unfair to all of us. I think it's safe to say we've ALL gone through a lot. But please, I'm not ready to just stop being friends. Both of us have been hurt, and THAT'S life. We get over the things that don't matter for the things that do. I don't want you to hate me, Nay. I don't hate you at all. I hate this situation, I hate how we've broken off contact from each other, I hate that I hurt you and you hurt me. I hate that things didn't go well for you. But you have to understand that the way I felt/feel was that you weren't being the friend to my sister that SHE needed. I'm not trying to speak for her, because I don't know how she feels. But what I do know is that nothing matters. I want us to be friends. Don't just runa away from us, Renee. Are we really that unimportant to you that you won't fight for us? Because I really don't think you feel that way. I think you're just as upset at losing us as you are about what I said to you.
You have to understand that life has been hard for everyone, not just you, not just me, everyone. Maybe life was harder for you, I really don't know. But you're not going to just stop being my friend because of something like this. If we give up this easy on a friendship that's been 15 years going, then how do you expect to stay married? I know I know, it's different, but please don't write me off like that.
It was important that you know how I feel. I still feel that we were treated unfairly and you weren't very concerned with OUR feelings, but I also feel that we weren't being very fair to you, either. We all got caught up in our own problems and forgot to be there for each other.
So please forgive me. You've already been forgiven for any hurt feelings. Nothing in the past is as important as us staying friends.
Re: Please read this, Nay, I promise it's not mean :\mrsminnisJuly 13 2006, 05:19:01 UTC
and both Stephs are right. I was truly truly upset because I didn't get to see you get married. I love Zach, I think he's great, and I can tell that you two love each other. I wanted to be there when you said your vows, I wanted to watch my friend get married. I understand that you were nervous/your anxiety was getting the best of you, but couldn't you have at least let us know before we got the reception?
And when Nicole asked "What should we do," it was because we didn't know what you wanted us to do. All this, this entire wedding, has been for you. Even after Nicole and I felt neglected and left out because you found someone you want to marry we still wanted your wedding to be wonderful and for it to work out. Just because it didn't go as planned doesn't mean you have to assume we hate you or something.
I think the biggest problem here is lack of communication. You didn't tell us what you wanted us to do, you didn't even tell us you got married. We didn't tell you that we were feeling really left out and we didn't tell you that your avoidance of plans (due to a busy schedule or just plain not wanting to be with us) really started to get under our skin and upset us. And now you're totally just cutting us off like we're nothing. Do you realize I've known you my entire life? That's a long freaking time. I'm not ready to let that go because of anyone's pride.
I think you should really consider what Florida Steph wrote, because if you do I think you'll find that you won't be as happy without your friends. I know Zach is your number one (duh, you married him), but lets at least do what we've been doing... lets watch movies and go to the mall and just have fun. Please? I'm asking you, please don't write us off like we're nothing.
I can't tell you how many times I've cried today. I'm not trying to make you guilty at all, I'm trying to let you know how much you mean to me. And if nicole got online and read your "see ya later, I'm done with you guys" entry, she'd be totally devastated. You are her best friend, Renee. And I don't think she can deal with losing you right now.
Through all of this, Nicole has also had a few rough moments that I'm sure she's wanted to tell you about. So please, be her friend, and she'll be yours. I can't see her hurt this bad, Nay. Just forget everything and let it go. It's not important anymore.
"I tell myself I'm glad all this is over and done with, I tell myself it's better off this way, I tell myself that it's a relief, so why am I crying?
When am I going to get my WICKED book back? It's like in those movies when a couple breaks up and they bring a box of each others' stuff to the other person's house. It's awkward, it's strange. It's almost this tangible feeling of alienation. A person who's been in my life my entire life is now out of it. There's no fixing this.
And I tell myself over and over that it's not my fault, that she was wrong, that I was right to speak my piece... so why am I crying so hard? Why am I finally crying over ME instead of a song or a movie or a book? Why am I feeling like I'm in 8th grade again with no one to talk to and nothing to do but listen to music and write and cry every night?
I wish someone was here with me. I can't talk to my parents about it, because it'll turn into THEM talking to ME about it. And I don't care right now. I want to cry to someone about losing a huge part of my life over something that didn't need to happen."
Renee, I think you took me off your friends list, so I had to post this in a comment.
I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was angry because I honestly believe that you were being unfair to all of us. I think it's safe to say we've ALL gone through a lot. But please, I'm not ready to just stop being friends. Both of us have been hurt, and THAT'S life. We get over the things that don't matter for the things that do. I don't want you to hate me, Nay. I don't hate you at all. I hate this situation, I hate how we've broken off contact from each other, I hate that I hurt you and you hurt me. I hate that things didn't go well for you. But you have to understand that the way I felt/feel was that you weren't being the friend to my sister that SHE needed. I'm not trying to speak for her, because I don't know how she feels. But what I do know is that nothing matters. I want us to be friends. Don't just runa away from us, Renee. Are we really that unimportant to you that you won't fight for us? Because I really don't think you feel that way. I think you're just as upset at losing us as you are about what I said to you.
You have to understand that life has been hard for everyone, not just you, not just me, everyone. Maybe life was harder for you, I really don't know. But you're not going to just stop being my friend because of something like this. If we give up this easy on a friendship that's been 15 years going, then how do you expect to stay married? I know I know, it's different, but please don't write me off like that.
It was important that you know how I feel. I still feel that we were treated unfairly and you weren't very concerned with OUR feelings, but I also feel that we weren't being very fair to you, either. We all got caught up in our own problems and forgot to be there for each other.
So please forgive me. You've already been forgiven for any hurt feelings. Nothing in the past is as important as us staying friends.
Reply
And when Nicole asked "What should we do," it was because we didn't know what you wanted us to do. All this, this entire wedding, has been for you. Even after Nicole and I felt neglected and left out because you found someone you want to marry we still wanted your wedding to be wonderful and for it to work out. Just because it didn't go as planned doesn't mean you have to assume we hate you or something.
I think the biggest problem here is lack of communication. You didn't tell us what you wanted us to do, you didn't even tell us you got married. We didn't tell you that we were feeling really left out and we didn't tell you that your avoidance of plans (due to a busy schedule or just plain not wanting to be with us) really started to get under our skin and upset us. And now you're totally just cutting us off like we're nothing. Do you realize I've known you my entire life? That's a long freaking time. I'm not ready to let that go because of anyone's pride.
I think you should really consider what Florida Steph wrote, because if you do I think you'll find that you won't be as happy without your friends. I know Zach is your number one (duh, you married him), but lets at least do what we've been doing... lets watch movies and go to the mall and just have fun. Please? I'm asking you, please don't write us off like we're nothing.
I can't tell you how many times I've cried today. I'm not trying to make you guilty at all, I'm trying to let you know how much you mean to me. And if nicole got online and read your "see ya later, I'm done with you guys" entry, she'd be totally devastated. You are her best friend, Renee. And I don't think she can deal with losing you right now.
Through all of this, Nicole has also had a few rough moments that I'm sure she's wanted to tell you about. So please, be her friend, and she'll be yours. I can't see her hurt this bad, Nay. Just forget everything and let it go. It's not important anymore.
Reply
Leave a comment