and I am not bitter anymore because I know that what we had was real
Tonight, for some reason, I went through and read all my entries back until 2004. What was weird was that I wasn't crying, I was laughing and smiling a lot. And I miss you so much. I am not upset that we aren't friends, well I am but I'm okay with it because I know that our friendship was more than just a friendship. You have a certain place within my heart that can never be taken away, no matter how close I become to someone. You and I taught each other so much and I realize that the things I say or do with those I am close to now, are the things I started to do with you. I think it is my way of holding on to you even though you were gone from my life a year or so ago. There are some days I want to call you and tell you everything but I know that I can't. There were certain times this year that we made plans but they always fell through. There are some days I miss you more than others and then there are days when I do not miss you at all. I do not think I will ever have as many pictures with anyone else, as I do with you. I don't think I will ever learn as much from anyone else as I did from you. I don't think I will laugh as much, either. I miss you a whole lot and I hope to see you soon. I just wanted you to know.